Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes

What is the price of freedom?

I am not sure about any one of you, but what I am definite is, I remunerated high price for em. Since I was 16, I always dreamed of my own house, my own room and my own privacy in life. But I am 21 one now and still those things above are outlying from anticipation.

In the house I am such a mom boy (that’s what they have been calling me) but the calling isn’t issue to me at all. Might be too many humiliations superficially thus the twinge and hurting was somehow drastically reduced to null. Back to the topic, if I was home, I can only get out of the house at 5 and back before 7. That was sooooo 10 years old curfew! Yes! And it is still applied to me. I know what you are thinking, what a loser I am. Guess they are so afraid their son is going to mingle with the delinquents.

In One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Randle McMurphy do anything stupid just to gasp and huff the outside of asylum air. He brawl, exchange fists, he bawl and he become a maniac. But as a normal human like me(I take myself are still considered as normal so far) I am inept of expressing such inhumane behavior to my parents just to get a jest of freedom right?

Or in Color Purple, Celie was such a brave woman. He can triumph over obstacle like a bowling hitting pins. Her bravery is so undeniably heartbreaking yet aspiring. I wish that I can be like both of them, able to voice out, but most of the time I scream in silence. Cowardice is too strong in my vein preventing my speech to be blurted out.     

Yesterday I went back to cyber, just because the curfew in my uncle’s house was too hard for me to take. I decided to ran away. The next morning, I was scolded till I wanna cry but I just can’t. I was even too scared to cry. It is too much oppression. But I was satisfied, a few hours of freedom was worth the nag and scold. HAAHA HA HA..

If I can pay the price of freedom with my life, I would pay half of my life just to get them. I don’t really mind having a short life yet pleasurable rather than a long heartrending and poignant life. I wish they will read this blog one day, the scream of my soul might reach their head.