The Week Must be Crazy

Bukan taknak update blog, just that agak busy ah baru2 ni..hehe..alasan giler ah! So last last weekend ni ah ape aku buat..miss wah’s wed..congratz! (please gave us some extra marks for biochem will ya?) hehehe..

She keeps saying "hey you guys, lets just eat and balik la,so hot la here". Lantak la, aku nak makan dulu, hehe. Cynthia, u wear skirts that short pun panas ke? haha.. btw thanks for the "lil monster" u gave me.>.=.<

"Minah Bantal Busuk" ngahaha..Seriously, i haven't seen gurls that actually sleeps with bantal busuk for ages! but guess what, she did. but funny as hell! hahaha. she even talks in her sleep"pulangkan la bantal busuk tu weyh"

Dah la accident, slack tol la, but in the end kau chillax jek! nice one. nenek kau memang rock la ada! its like you are the reincarnation of her, or the other way around. But bile korang kat dapur it was like "dang, 2 orang Ada skali kat dapur!" mwahahaha

ok, mula2 plan g Melaka kau nak bawak kitorang gi makan ikan bakar but then kami semua makan roti naan yang kau bleh beli kat JS sambil hisap shisha. But then since that ur our driver then you are forgiven. Hidup roommate!

Ni makhluk dari Jeli yang memang kerja kau dok menghanjeng aku dari awal trip sampai sekarang. Siap buat list orang2 gaji lagi. Terbaik la Ceghah! HAA HA HABut posing as a fookein retarded turtle is your specialty. Maybe next time you can be the next monster in Ultraman Nexus

Memang pinggan kau penuh time kenduri tu, haha..Semua orang lepas sembang sampai pagi, solat then subuh then everyone is crashing the bed already, tapi kau chillax jek pegi sambung tolong nenek Ada goreng ayam sampai, pastu kau cakap "aku curi-curi makan ayam goreng masa panas-panas sedap~" hahaha. Siot jek en!

Siot ah, the only thing that i can lulz about is ur new name. PUTAT! (nama tu macam lucah, but i dont care, janji aku boleh bahan kau)Then kau combo aku macam-macam and aku sangat-sangat tak puas hati. haha. Memang lepas ni aku buat research utk bahan kau sampai kau tunduk!MWAHAHAHAHAHA

Last sekali baru aku letak gamba wedding miss..i mean MADAM wah..hehe.. #problem?

Marble Cake for the Soul..

I feel affection for cooking, and I am experimenting with baking too. So today I am gonna edify you on how to bake a marble cake:

INGREDIENTS:

2 ounces (55 grams)bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, chopped

1 tablespoon brewed coffee or espresso

2 1/4 cups (290 grams) cake flour

1 tablespoonbaking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 cup (113 grams) unsaltedbutter, room temperature

1 1/4 cups (250 grams) granulated whitesugar

2 largeeggs

2 teaspoons purevanillaextract

3/4 cup (180 ml) sour cream or plain yogurt

1/3 cup (80 ml) milk

PROCEDURE:

1.Melt the choco~

2.Mix all ingredient and batter em

3. Swirl both in bundt

4. Bake for 30 minutes at 400 degree celcius

5. Voila!

KEK MARBLE YANG TELAH SIAP

wait the minute......

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i think i forgot one more ingredient...

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its the dang cute lil monster sugar glider~

"aww, soo cute.."

sorry cause i didnt mention bout the sugar glider, u can just blend em with chocolate, it tastes fookein good and awesome. So selamat mencuba~

"aku tipu resipi ni, problem? HAAHA HA HA"

p/s:

adeih..nak marah orng hack xleh plak..buat bodo je ah..haha

Reality is not stupid, you are!

I can’t really understand how some people actually think. My cranium is so thick because I knocked on a table leg when I was 7, maybe which could explain my retardation. Owh, I also fall down trees when I was 4 and knocked my head on car bumper, no wonder they called me retard eh.

Ok, back to what I wanted to talk is, how can a person who barely have some money for their children have money for gambling?

Pakcik A seorang buruh kasar, and he works for RM 60 per day, he has 6 children, thus you can do your own calculation. BUZZ! Slowpoke, its 8 mouth to be fed. And their education, all those school fees, books and clothes. Can you imagine how he has to work to cover all those expenses?

"mane ntah datang satu sesat plak"

And then, you can freely pergi kedai TOTO and buy your 4D number. Plus 2 points of dexterity bile kau pergi lepas sembahyang maghrib. Wei pakcik, don’t be such a Baboon will ya? Kau baru balik masjid pakai kain pelikat pastu terus masuk kedai 4D ape cer? Then you put on your bloody helmet to cover your face, Waddefarkulala man??!! Lu ingat lu pakai helmet gua tak kenal ke? Gua solat sebelah lu je pakcik, so agak-agak ah.

KAIN PELIKAT

+

HELMET REMPIT

=

SPORTS TOTO??

If you think that by gambling will change your luck, you are so wrong pakcik, plus how can you even have the guts to feed on your child even if you win all those money? Dang you should think twice with you suppa donkey arsehole head.

Stereotyping people

Cikgu yang stereotype

I didn’t really blame teachers cause both of my parents are, but I wanted to start about how teachers shouldn’t stereotype their student.

I wanted to use some example from myself;

Masa kat kolej;

“Ustazah, saya nak pergi kursus kahwin”

“Kamu ni layak ke hisyam? Hafazan tu pun kamu tak habis lagi”

“Tapi ustazah,  kat situ die tulis terbuka untuk semua”

“DAH PENUH”

*kecewa, nampak kat borang tu kosong lagi

"ustazah tipu" (cakap dalam hati)

Then the next day, someone else registered and yang peliknya boleh plak mamat tu register, this is what I called as discrimination. Seriously, kite takde hak nak judge orang macam tu, and even as a teacher, you cannot take yourself superiorly.

And a few thing more, sejak bile kursus kahwin letak syarat HAFAZAN PENUH?? N now your son is the same class as I am. Aku nganjeng die tiap2 hari.problem?HAAHA HA HA..padan muke ustazah! Do you know why? I don’t wanna be like you. Seriously. luckily your son sangat-sangat sporting, die nganjeng balik, so kitorang jadi member, problem again? HAAHA HA HA

"HEEHO~"

The picture above is one of my trolling on him. Fun what, nganjeng member sendiri. And if ustazah see this, what can she do? nothing eh? lagi teruk bile aku tag 1 kelas. MWAHAHAHAHA

"padan muke, yeah yeah~"

So now i shall end this rage..

FIN

Why do you wanna run?

Well I disgust bullies and I have the basis for that, for me bullying is so atrocious and you can join any dickhead in this world if you are a bullies.

"kecik2 dah jadi dickhead, besar2 aku potong dick hang!"

What is the main rationale for someone to bully others? For some of the reason I know, people usually bully others because they whichever have a family crisis or they are conducting hassle and thus channeling trauma to the others.

"parents, dont fight in front of ur child"

And bullying can be in definite way too, physical and mental. The effect of mental bullies is the deepest and it can cause serious depression. Mental bullying can be defined as buli halus (betul ke?lantak la) if in school, especially in boarding school, when you kena pulau dengan member than it is a type of bullying.

Lagi teruk kalau kena pulau sebab benda-benda bodoh macam jealousy and fitnah, then timbul semangat assabiyah. But mate, when in the hard times, you can see who your real friends are, serius tak tipu, time ni la baru kite nampak sape kawan kite sebenar and kadang-kadang bersyukur sebab ade kawan camni.

"die you bullies!!!!"

And for those who think bullying is cool so you can be superior, I hope you will ROT IN THE DEEPEST HELL! You don’t ought to have to live in this world. Oppression from other factors doesn’t mean that you can channel it to others, tu bodoh! Kalau kau dah kena hentak kat rumah, jgn la hentak orang lain pulak, cuba la buat benda feadah sikit. Ini tak, tau nak pedajal makhluk lain je tau. Lu buat camtu lagi Tuhan taknak tolong tau tak?

Physical bullying? Tak perlu nak describe pun. Dah banyak sangat kes. And video ni je aku mampu tunjuk

He is soooooo winning kan? I wish I can be like him. sekarang mamat ni dah jadi hero kepada semua mangsa2 buli satu dunia.

So to all kaki2 buli kat luar sana. PEGI TAUBAT LA YOU FOOKEIN DONKEY ARSE! Jangan jadikan alsan kau pena kena buli kau nak buli orang balik, kalau camtu, the hatred that you conduit to others won’t come to an end…

FIN

Rebecca Black yang sangat donkey head

Have you guys ever heard about Rebecca black? Well I have to enlighten you that it is something that has become viral. For those who didn’t know, it means that you are living in Stone Age. It is about a month ago, in “internet” years, when you are late for a month it’s equal to 10 years. So siapa-siapa yang tak tau Rebecca Black can cari bangunan MACC and start to jump of it! Serius!

Flipside to Rebecca black, I don’t wanna talk much about her, and you can just google about her. What I wanted to say is, her song titled “FRIDAY” is monkeih crap! Lebih baik mati daripada dengaq lagu bodoh yang boleh kurangkan IQ tu.

What makes it a crappy song is because the lyrics itself.

7am, waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein’ everything, the time is goin’
Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)

Kickin’ in the front seat
Sittin’ in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend

7:45, we’re drivin’ on the highway
Cruisin’ so fast, I want time to fly
Fun, fun, think about fun
You know what it is
I got this, you got this
My friend is by my right
I got this, you got this

*pant *pant, tak sanggup nak post the next part sebab takut jadi bebal mcm Rebecca Black. Ape bodo sangat sampai she makes song about gaduh nak duduk depan or duduk belakang. Dang idiot!

I got this you got this? Damn my nenek can sing better than her. FYI, she is using autotune, which makes her a famewhore. Again, autotune tu software yg bleh buat suara aku jadi macam suara Siti Norhaleja.

And ini version sebenar tanpa autotune, kena play dulu baru baca yang bawah and tahu cerita sebenar;

HAAHA HA HA..confirm korang dapat nightmare, padan muka. problem?

FIN

Stop being ignorance

My mom is a Chinese, and my dad is Malay, so I live sandwiched amid of both of the ethnicity. But come what may it unbolted my eyes in the way I scrutiny the world.

What is insyaAllah?

"i got inspiration from his song"

When my lecturer converse about uses insyaAllah in his words, he uses it so unreservedly like it doesn’t carry any meaning. insyaAllah in kepala melayyuw is poles apart with what the real insyaAllah’s denotation.

Our insyaAllah;

“Esok hantar jangan lupa hantar homework”

“insyaAllah cikgu” (beramai-ramai)

*dalam hati : kalau tak hantar tu maknanya faham2 je la

De Eff?? Madafakka betoi la. No further elucidation is needed right, now when people utilize insyaAllah, they don’t even think of going, it is like they are using God as an excuses. This is SO WRONG! So jangan jadik bodoh sangat and blame Him whenever you are in Fookein trouble

Real insyaAllah;

“Nanti jangn lupa datang”

“isyaAllah”

*dah cakap insyaAllah kena la usaha

Yes! That is the accurate and precise  way of using insyaAllah. Why? For the reason that when we use insyaAllah, we actually are saying;

90 % came from my effort

10 % is God’s willing

So don’t start to give an excuse, we give our full endeavor, and if it still didn’t work, then it is His job and there must be reason why he don’t wanted it to work.

Couple

"HAAHA HA HA"

I don’t have a great deal to dispute about this but what I wanted to utter is when we are in a relationship with someone without proper bond (nikah), we must remember that we have certain boundary. But what people nowadays have mistakenly won the erroneous concept of couple. They think that by having a title as bf/gf you can pin point of fact took someone as wife or husband already but in fact, you still can’t.

My Chinese friend even responded like this when I asked her why she wanted to have a boyfriend;

“I wanted to know the person well and I know that if he is really for me, he will respect me just the way I am and not doing something that is bad to me, then I will know he is the one for me”

She is one fookein kapiaq for god’s sake, and she knows about how a relationship is more than I do and now I shall hold to what she has said.

Polygamy

"ni contoh orang gatal, rasa nak SULA je"

When I talked about this topic I am so sure that the guys out there are smiling from their ears to ears. Jangan nak gatal sangat la, kahwin lebih ni maknanya tendency nak jadi isi neraka tu dah bertambah sebanyak 4 kali ganda gak. So just simpan your wet dreams okay?

My dad used to have problem in explaining about this to my grandparents, (they are Chinese), and finally he came out of using an example of a watermelon;

*a watermelon was first cut into half, sloooooooooowly~

“ok, uncle, tembikai ni macam saya nak berlaku adil”

*my late grandpa scratch his head

“bayangkan kalau saya nak potong jadi empat pulak, dan empat2 bahagian tu kena sama berat, dan sama besar, kalau tak tu tak adil”

*now its my granma’s turn to scratch her head

“macam tu la kalau nak adil, saya kena pastikan saya mampu, dan mampu jadi adil, kalau saya tak mampu, saya makan je sebijik”

“kalau macam tu pecah ka?”

*grandpa tepuk dahi

“It means that if you want to marry more, you must be adil and mampu, and if he can be adil, I am sure our daughter can be happy” (it is in Cantonese, but I translated it so easier for you guys and you don’t have to google translate it)

 So lelaki-lelaki di luar sana, janganlah anda tau nak penuhkan nafsu terhadap wanita-wanita sahaja. And tiap-tiap kali nak kahwin lebih je main pakai hadi, mane aci, mesti adil la bro, and mampu. bukan nak tuuut je. Ada faham?

FIN

Camera? puh lissss la

Apparently I saw lots of kids, yeah kids, with those entire expensive camera, whoring fame in malls. Some even wear caps n shades, dang, sejak bile la plak ade matahari terik dalam malls you stoopeid bastards.

And the thing that I would like to emboss is that, why camera? Do you really know how to us em? Furthermore, what kindda picture do you actually take?

"magic eh?tangkap gambar takyah bukak lens" (stupeid arse)

It’s a monstrosity to saw these groups of people showing off their prosperity. My eyes burn in third degree with what I saw.

"gambar blur camni, nenek aku yg parkinson lagi lawa gambar die"(joke)

So guys, before you wanted to follow a trend, remember your intention, niat is our core in doing what we wanted to do, it’s the first of the 40 hadith. It is not gonna be the first if it’s not that important, and that’s why it’s the core.

The last hanjeng. Naaaaahh!!! No can do! hahaha

p/s:

aku malas tulis panjang2 sebab just nak hilangkan stress study..

How Cartoon in Malaysia should be

First of all, I really miss my old cartoon. When I was still a kid, it was inflexible for me to watch cartoon on weekdays, n at that time, a good number of the best cartoon are only in the store and not on the tv. (Damn scrupulous businessman!). So my brother and I are so fervent to watch some of the cartoon and have to save every penny that we have to buy a single vcd every fortnight.

Most of the VCD bought were in japan and it was awesome! (Thou I hardly comprehend) but the subtitle has helped me masses in my English. And I ended up being a scorer. But kids at the moment, they just gaze at the tv and all the cartoon has by now been translated into malay! And worst, it was sangat-sangat bodoh.

“don’t get chocked”

Should be translated as “jangan sampai jadi gagap” depending on the context, but when I heard it on tv it became;

“jangan sampai tercekik”

De Eff?? Macam mana nak bagi speech sampai tercekik plak? Did u actually swallow the mic?

Just try and listen to what he is talking about;

So guys n gurls, when you saw ur brother or sister is watching this, baik bawak mereka jauh2 supaya tak jadi bodoh sangat (kidding). But seriously u should.

Btw another video I would like to share is, how a translation should be;

See? Its updated and new song are used, furthermore it supports our industry.

With that I shall end it, *close curtain

p/s:

esok microbes la babad, g study!!!!

Just for Lulz

Like I said before, I enjoy making fun of people who are superior than I am. Problem? So this time I just watched this video of a gurl teaching about the way of wearing tudung bawal plus subang. She is cute (I can guarantee that la, korang jeles tgk die cute kn? Kan? Kan?), but! Those attitudes of her. Bluergh! Gediks macam orang kena tarik bulu hidung!

Watch the video first;

and this is some comment from friends to the video;

Hisyam Chin ‎"ekceli,bunga baru balik rumah tau~" PEGI MATI LA WOI!!

Sabrina Shaari ‎"tapi bunga gigih jugak buat video untuk Hisyam Chintau* buat muka comel

Sharifah Sadiqa Al-Yahya ‎-.- aku lempang kang .

Thus i have translated the video in accordance to my own tune..problem?:

p/s: aku suke menghanjeng..problem?

Aku memang macam ni..problem?

Ni benda yang aku letak kat twit aku, macam dah cakap sebelum ni, twit pencuri idea aku utk tulis. siot tol la.. btw enjoy:

aku menghanjeng orang yg lagi superior dari aku..problem?

aku x reti confess gak..problem?

aku layan lagu metal smpai pecah speaker..problem?

aku baca novel chick flick..problem?

aku layan korea..problem?

aku suke tomboy..problem?

aku pena belasah budak..problem?

nenek aku cakap aku cucu jahat..problem?

aku ske masak..problem?

aku tak hisap rokok..problem?

aku pena couple 9 kali..problem?

aku hantu shisha..problem?

aku sayang adik2 aku..problem?

aku ske baca komik gak..problem?

aku ske troll orang..problem?

aku layan minah macam aku layan mamat..problem?

aku senang express dalam english dari malay..problem?

aku senang tgk orang lain gelak..problem?

p/s:

agak2 boring, bleh la melawat twitter patik hisyamchin

New Game in store now

Reported by Hisyam Chin

Sungai Besar, Selangor – As a Malaysian we can now proudly smile to the world especially Gadaffi due to our rocketing gaming industries. The game was said to be launched next week and it seems that the demand is drastically shoots up to the moon.

  

Set in the realm of Kampung Pisang,Ussop Wheelcha for the last time puts Ussop at the center of the carnage and destruction as he seeks revenge against Kak Limah(a ghost) who is causing chaos in the village. A single-player game, this final chapter allows players to take on the climatic role of the a retard, Ussop, as he treads through the intimidating heights of Kampung Pisang and the dark depths of Tasik Cyberjaya once more to seek Zombies on those who have causes chaos in the village. Armed with Heavily machine gunned Wheelchair,Ussop must take on mythology's darkest creatures while solving intricate puzzles throughout his merciless quest to destroy Paez the Zombie (BOSS).

The game was inspired by the movies “Hantu Kak Limah Balik Rumah”. The main character was a handicapped guy with wheelchair of the most advanced technology. With the aids of the wheelchair and a little bit of retardation, the game was excessively addicting. Utilizing a new game engine built from the ground up and state-of-the-art visual technologies, the development team behind Ussop Wheelcha have made significant strides in giving players the realistic feel of actually being on the battlegrounds.

"epic face"

+

"epic wheelchair"

equals to

"JIZZED IN MY PANTS!!"

With texture resolutions being quadrupled than God of War 3, Crysis 2 will feature fluid, life-like characters, as well as dynamic lighting effects, a robust weapon system, and world-changing scenarios that will truly bring unmistakable realism to Ussops' fateful quest. Players will have a chance to join battles on a grand scale with many more enemies on-screen and be able to interact with levels like never before.

The demo of the game has been released for about two weeks and the demand is surprisingly superior. Some of the comment for those who have tried the demo;

“otok~” ßdang racist zombies eh?

“Masyuk baba”

“I jizzed in my pants twice playing the games”

“kite bako je~”

“I said to my mum that I wanna cut my legs just like Ussop so I can have those cool wheelchair” ßWTF?

ESRB rated the game as “Everyone 10+” due to the fact that it is a suitable materials for parenting. So be sure to buy the game as it will be released this 12^th of April.

Blame Twitter for leaking my head's idea into it, n now what i have is some of the gist i wrote for ABPBH..yeah i know, i sounded too meleis while im watching it, so as a return, i watched it so i can lulz at it later, win win situation is should say eh?

apsal lisa kalah ngan fasha?? ARGH!!!!

FBI ade penjaga rambut?? rambut licin dan halus~ padan menang..haha

khiriah menang sbb melatah je kowt~

noh rambut mcm prof nasa!!!HAAHA HA HA

meet uncle hussein menang nasyid??

Rabbani pakai baju mcm reverrand? but ok la menang nasyid..

they purposely make the clothes purple, so tak macam proxy illuminati sgt..

apesal aznil pakai skirt?? mcm kurt dlm glee?? geli baba~ worst thing worst, die menang? WTFULALA

artis baru popular shahir, tapi cam focus kat rozita che wan..somethein fishy..shes a MHLF but still??

ana raffali, altimet and...a beast??

banyak cucuk sbb tu muda~makan dalam la tu kak..lulz

woooow!!! irma hasmie sgt cute..sgt schweet~ *faint

farah fauzana is so cliché, even her clothes..

remy ishak? de eff?? muka cam bangla menang? ARGH!!!

najaz bukan najis la ngok..hadoi..

@manulpink sanggup break dgn awek die kalau lisa surihani nak die..pfft!

@manulpink seorang yang boobeih over brain

weyh fafau!!sikit2 sudah la weyh.hang sapu sume susah ah

zizan chuck norris industri lawak..tangan ke bahu, mata ke atas

anuar zain hisap rokok..bibir hitam baju putih.. #irony

i think the title of the song shud not sedetik lebih, in fact it shud be SEBATANG LEBIH.. ok, its #lamefuck

Who is this rosnani oldfag?? muka mcm prof ros la~

merong mahawangsa maju

Natasha Hudson si so smokein howt! 

faizal tahi menang anugerah nasyid rock terbaik

LISA LISA LISA!!! *wave..*faint

no wonder she won!! *faint again

apsal yuna pakai serban perry?? n is that tabla?

artis mobile popular for six pence? sebenarnya artis lain menang sbb indon bnyk pirate lagu meleis

anak rita kuat tendang..u know why

ana raffali..again?seaweed kat bahu tu rambut die lepas potong ke? maybe aflyn will do the same of 

she cuts her hair #lulz

SAM!!!! lu lagsi lu mati..tapi malam ni lu menang bhai..

alyah, shima, ella..they can be actors in underworld malaysia..sexeh n better than cicakman what

@LipPo_LipPo rajnikanth takdak kat ABPBH okeeyhh..! #lulz

crite mcm ni la kene tgk..confirm meletup punye..bukan mcm kl drift..pengarah jd hero = sume die 

hebat..no wonder u won sam..^^

Kak nita?more like moyang-plastik-cucuk-sini-cucuk-sana nita

faizal tahir butang baju sebab takut kantoi paint kat badan..

Darth Vader? Dementors? Frodo Baggins? no..its yuna bebeh!!

Usop wilcha??..SOLE SOLE~ HAAHA HA HA

orang dtg nk bako, bkn poco2..

ni semua bala ni, bala ni..

bukan cinta biasa wondergurls~ no wonder dato k jizzed everyday..#LULZ

ok, no moar..change mode to studeih..pfft!