Plaything and the Past

I sense their outlook about toys is come what may true. Enjoice, as it might be useful when you are having a lametard frork partner in life.

abelljefrry H.S. Abell Jefrry 

Tekanan perasaan yang dialami seseorang masa kecil, akibat 'impian' untuk memiliki permainan tak tercapai, mungkin boleh ditebus masa dewasa

2 hours ago Favorite Undo Retweet Reply

Retweeted by hisyamchin

syvzwvn syazwan shafie 

tahu tak kalau menghina pasangan yang suka kumpul mainan tu sama macam menghina zaman kemiskinan dia dulu. mentang2 kau kaya

3 hours ago 

Retweeted by hisyamchin

abelljefrry H.S. Abell Jefrry 

Perempuan, kalau teman lelaki kamu kumpul permainan, jangan suka hati maki/gelakkan dia. Mungkin masa kecil dia tak berpeluang merasa. :(

3 hours ago 

Retweeted by hisyamchin

just in case you don't know, lametard = lame + retard, frork = freak + dork

Kasut converse and Kasut bata

When I was going out with some of my friends, I wanted to go into a converse shop. I was so fascinated to a white converse shoe that looked so sophisticated yet classic. 

I was about to buy it and when I flipped the price tag, it costs two months of my money. And then abruptly from my back,

“eh, ni kasut sekolah aku dulu bad,kau nak beli kasut ni ke?”

I was silent for a while, and had bermonolog dalaman

“kasut dekat 2 rat ni hang cakap kasut sekolah, aku dulu kasut BATAK kot”

Yeah, one of this shoes can actually buy 8 similar shoes as mine. It didn’t end there;

“kasut ni dulu aku beli setiap tahun, tiap tahun beli kasut yang sama”

De Eff!!! U buy this shit every year for five years? wait, by adding another 6 years of primary school into that,ur actually wearing these freakin shoes for 11 years and aku Cuma mampu beli binatang harroom ni when I am already 21?

I was so envy to those who have richness beyond human expectation, its like they are living between the life of bruce wayne and uncle scrooge.

"one is diggin beetchah and the other is diggin munneh"

I wish I can give some filet mignon (I don’t even fookein know what kindda thing is that but I do know it is creakingly expensive!) but I can only give sate lembu satu cucuk to you.

I wanna write something longer but I cant really do that cause I don’t have my own laptop for the time being, so I will just put my idea into halt for a while..

Well the main question for this post is,

“Apa beza kasut converse dengan kasut bata?”

Tell me if you are on the same boat

In a football game during PE, I was always the last one to be picked because I’m FAT and STUPID

Kalau main petang-petang dengan budak-budak taman, confirm they will chose me last.

“aku pilih mat”

“kau pilih hisyam”

“mana boleh,tadi osom tak kira, aku taknak hisyam team aku”

“sial la, aku pun taknak”

See that, they are even belligerent till their veins are out just because they don’t want me to be in their team. But whenever I am playing games, I will give my heart out, chasing the ball like a mad man running till my shirt is drenched with sweat and my breast(yeah i got boobies then coz im too fat) is throbbing as i lost my breath. But still, i cant contend with all those skinny kids, they don’t even have to show any hard work in chasing the ball. So i ended up giving up playing any sports, don’t blame me, if you yourself are constantly rejected you will give up in philanthropic efforts.

When I watch movie, I hardly imagine myself as the main character,

In Starwars, I’m the clone troopers, or maybe the fat one and the one that depart this life first slashed by the lightsabers.

In Harry Potter, I’m the dementor. I absorb the happiness of others, so that i can be happy, yeah i am fookein egocentric, i got hole in my heart did anyone of u give a fak?no right? So Shut The Fakkap!

In Power Rangers, i am not even one of the rangers, i am one of the balaci that will be shot to death at the commencement of the scene. The power rangers don’t even have to transform to kill me, i am THAT insignificant.

When people asks me about my dream, i will just reply that i dint have any

My mum used to asks that question a lot, but it will always ended up as a joke to her.

“hisyam nanti nak beli rumah yang macam mana?”

“rumah simple,luar kayu dalam batu”

“hahaha!tu bukan rumah, tu pondok,hisyam nak tinggal dalam pondok!”

“bukan mum,hisyam nak buat rumah yang...”

“hahaha!tengok anak abah yang sorang ni,ade ke nak tinggal kat dalam pondok?”

So if you asks me about my dream, be ready to hear bout em, and please, don’t joke bout it. Dream is the blueprint of the future life, its not a joke.

So guys, don’t talk to me about confidence suppression if you haven’t face any, mine might not be the worst, but still, its painful yo.

How Cartoon in Malaysia should be

First of all, I really miss my old cartoon. When I was still a kid, it was inflexible for me to watch cartoon on weekdays, n at that time, a good number of the best cartoon are only in the store and not on the tv. (Damn scrupulous businessman!). So my brother and I are so fervent to watch some of the cartoon and have to save every penny that we have to buy a single vcd every fortnight.

Most of the VCD bought were in japan and it was awesome! (Thou I hardly comprehend) but the subtitle has helped me masses in my English. And I ended up being a scorer. But kids at the moment, they just gaze at the tv and all the cartoon has by now been translated into malay! And worst, it was sangat-sangat bodoh.

“don’t get chocked”

Should be translated as “jangan sampai jadi gagap” depending on the context, but when I heard it on tv it became;

“jangan sampai tercekik”

De Eff?? Macam mana nak bagi speech sampai tercekik plak? Did u actually swallow the mic?

Just try and listen to what he is talking about;

So guys n gurls, when you saw ur brother or sister is watching this, baik bawak mereka jauh2 supaya tak jadi bodoh sangat (kidding). But seriously u should.

Btw another video I would like to share is, how a translation should be;

See? Its updated and new song are used, furthermore it supports our industry.

With that I shall end it, *close curtain

p/s:

esok microbes la babad, g study!!!!

Young and Hopeless but not Stupid

I know how various communities were so fluky when they were still a brood. They keep on tenterhooks that they can be flipside to their childhood life. But not me I am sure of that. My childhood verve was an absolute catastrophe and disaster I tell you. And I know that not a soul wish to be in my shoes. Below is some of the reason why I loathed my childhood life;

Claustrophobia

Well I really hate small places; I mean really tight places where it is hard for you to move. It feels like a caged bird. The whole thing of this fear started when I was 5 yrs old. Well it is typical and ordinal for a kid like me to play along with all the kids’ right? But there is this one day I played hide and seek and everything seems to be ok.

In view of the fact that that I am a retard ever since I got my sweet tooth.  I got too brilliant and searched for the most systematic place to hide. I found a large box, and attempted and struggled to conceal under it, but as I tried to lift it, I saw a cat and it run through me.  That stoopeid cat knocked on my leg and I kindda lose poise (since I got a very gigantic, full size body) I slipped and fall into a bottomless drain.

*found a large box

“hehe, ni confirm diorang tak dapat jumpe!”

*lifted the box

“MREEOOWWW!!!”

*body loses balance

“whooa~”

DEBUUK! (macam nagka busuk)

Well I was wedged in that drain till maghrib (yeah) and nonentity takes notice about my existence back then. It got yet nastiest and worst when there are lots of wire around my leg (stupid arse throw it in the drain.) it tangles around my crutch and I was stuck. Plus two point when my body was the same as an elephant, a giant and humongous elephant. So in the end, I was so scared of tiny place with limited place, I feel like I was in grave and I don’t really know how to overcome this fear that I have.

Playing Kampung Games

Well I don’t really know how you guys went thru your childhood life. Especially when it comes to play games. Soccer, baling selipar, or cops and robber, I was always the one to be singled out last and the solitary that is not the most darling. Well let’s take the baling selipar game for a scene.

Practically it’s a game of build, defense and attacking at the same time. It is waaay harder than playing Counter Strike or DotA. I still played this game in USM during the sports carnival lol. And we are sooo lucky that we got the 3^rd place hehe.

Ok2, back to the story, normally when we play the games, the leader of the team will have to choose the best player as where the criterion are as follow ;

The swifter – best in agile and is like a the most constructive asset in the team, just imagine Usain Bolt in your team, how cool and splendid is that eh

"i run, i fly, i play baling selipar~"

The midget – they are also valuable for their minute size, they are a unbreakable target. They are the faultless red herring that can obscure the eye of the opponent and take the team to triumph.

"im fast niggah!"

The fast hand – just like the names, they can pin point of fact built in a blink of an eye, everybody crave for them as their hands can work marvel and revive the teammates

"u see me, u dont see me"

The sharpshooter – well, they can throw the selipar to the tower in just a try, the most will be only two try, I 

don’t really know if it was just an unadulterated luck or they are really endowed.

Now all the good stuff has been pulled out, apparently I was none of the above, due to the fat body I have, I am the easiest target of all, due to my large surface area, my lethargic and sluggish movement, plus,  I even wear spectacles. Thus giving me a -3 point to be chosen.

Gurls

"they are lil moster!"

Ok, I might have been in a relationship for nine fookein times before now, but the legitimacy is, I got hallowed of gurl when I was still a kid. It is not because they are endearing, but for the reason that of the sharpness of their words in “commenting” me, especially my physical;

“ikan buntal! Lari2!”

“小猪” ßthis is because I am in Chinese school before, not being racist

“budak gemok~budak gemok~budak gemok”

“ bulbasaur, bulbasaur, perutnya beso”

The statement above is just a lil life and curse I received back then.

And there is this one time, a group of gurl is gossiping (dang right, 10 yrs old and they are gossiping like donkey already), they talk about ranking the guy in our class, since that I was to lazy to play during recess (pfft! alasan). I eavesdropping em, so I heard about they ranked the hottest guy (he is now selling burger lulz) and when they are about to talk about the ugliest faggot, my name came first! How hurting was that?

“Siapa paling huduh eh dalam kelas ni?”

“mesti la hisyam!” (0.003sec)

“haah la, dah la gemok cam babi”

“tu ah, dah ah die cine, berak tak cebok”

“EUUWWW” *ramai2

Then their eyes rolled on me

*quickly hide ma face

kecik2 dah mulut macam labia majora defak!!!  I was so gloomy that I pretended that I was sleeping till the class ended, can’t even lift ma face.

Well those thing really teaches me to be an adult, teaches me about how to see people from their eyes, not from mine. I know sometimes I might make mistake but hey, everyone does right. That’s the end of my childhood nightmare.