Young and Hopeless but not Stupid

I know how various communities were so fluky when they were still a brood. They keep on tenterhooks that they can be flipside to their childhood life. But not me I am sure of that. My childhood verve was an absolute catastrophe and disaster I tell you. And I know that not a soul wish to be in my shoes. Below is some of the reason why I loathed my childhood life;

Claustrophobia

Well I really hate small places; I mean really tight places where it is hard for you to move. It feels like a caged bird. The whole thing of this fear started when I was 5 yrs old. Well it is typical and ordinal for a kid like me to play along with all the kids’ right? But there is this one day I played hide and seek and everything seems to be ok.

In view of the fact that that I am a retard ever since I got my sweet tooth.  I got too brilliant and searched for the most systematic place to hide. I found a large box, and attempted and struggled to conceal under it, but as I tried to lift it, I saw a cat and it run through me.  That stoopeid cat knocked on my leg and I kindda lose poise (since I got a very gigantic, full size body) I slipped and fall into a bottomless drain.

*found a large box

“hehe, ni confirm diorang tak dapat jumpe!”

*lifted the box

“MREEOOWWW!!!”

*body loses balance

“whooa~”

DEBUUK! (macam nagka busuk)

Well I was wedged in that drain till maghrib (yeah) and nonentity takes notice about my existence back then. It got yet nastiest and worst when there are lots of wire around my leg (stupid arse throw it in the drain.) it tangles around my crutch and I was stuck. Plus two point when my body was the same as an elephant, a giant and humongous elephant. So in the end, I was so scared of tiny place with limited place, I feel like I was in grave and I don’t really know how to overcome this fear that I have.

Playing Kampung Games

Well I don’t really know how you guys went thru your childhood life. Especially when it comes to play games. Soccer, baling selipar, or cops and robber, I was always the one to be singled out last and the solitary that is not the most darling. Well let’s take the baling selipar game for a scene.

Practically it’s a game of build, defense and attacking at the same time. It is waaay harder than playing Counter Strike or DotA. I still played this game in USM during the sports carnival lol. And we are sooo lucky that we got the 3^rd place hehe.

Ok2, back to the story, normally when we play the games, the leader of the team will have to choose the best player as where the criterion are as follow ;

The swifter – best in agile and is like a the most constructive asset in the team, just imagine Usain Bolt in your team, how cool and splendid is that eh

"i run, i fly, i play baling selipar~"

The midget – they are also valuable for their minute size, they are a unbreakable target. They are the faultless red herring that can obscure the eye of the opponent and take the team to triumph.

"im fast niggah!"

The fast hand – just like the names, they can pin point of fact built in a blink of an eye, everybody crave for them as their hands can work marvel and revive the teammates

"u see me, u dont see me"

The sharpshooter – well, they can throw the selipar to the tower in just a try, the most will be only two try, I 

don’t really know if it was just an unadulterated luck or they are really endowed.

Now all the good stuff has been pulled out, apparently I was none of the above, due to the fat body I have, I am the easiest target of all, due to my large surface area, my lethargic and sluggish movement, plus,  I even wear spectacles. Thus giving me a -3 point to be chosen.

Gurls

"they are lil moster!"

Ok, I might have been in a relationship for nine fookein times before now, but the legitimacy is, I got hallowed of gurl when I was still a kid. It is not because they are endearing, but for the reason that of the sharpness of their words in “commenting” me, especially my physical;

“ikan buntal! Lari2!”

“小猪” ßthis is because I am in Chinese school before, not being racist

“budak gemok~budak gemok~budak gemok”

“ bulbasaur, bulbasaur, perutnya beso”

The statement above is just a lil life and curse I received back then.

And there is this one time, a group of gurl is gossiping (dang right, 10 yrs old and they are gossiping like donkey already), they talk about ranking the guy in our class, since that I was to lazy to play during recess (pfft! alasan). I eavesdropping em, so I heard about they ranked the hottest guy (he is now selling burger lulz) and when they are about to talk about the ugliest faggot, my name came first! How hurting was that?

“Siapa paling huduh eh dalam kelas ni?”

“mesti la hisyam!” (0.003sec)

“haah la, dah la gemok cam babi”

“tu ah, dah ah die cine, berak tak cebok”

“EUUWWW” *ramai2

Then their eyes rolled on me

*quickly hide ma face

kecik2 dah mulut macam labia majora defak!!!  I was so gloomy that I pretended that I was sleeping till the class ended, can’t even lift ma face.

Well those thing really teaches me to be an adult, teaches me about how to see people from their eyes, not from mine. I know sometimes I might make mistake but hey, everyone does right. That’s the end of my childhood nightmare.