Showing posts with label monologue. Show all posts
Showing posts with label monologue. Show all posts
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Apprecation
"itu pun nak berlagak?pfft!"
Kalau ada budak tunjuk lukisan kat korang, lepas tu dia Tanya cantik ke tak, cakap je la cantik. Bukan nak korang menipu pun, but it is a sort of appreciation. Tu kalau dah besar, boleh jadi artist sebab a glimpse of motivation akan push them forward.
Kalau budak ni balik-balik tunjuk score kat korang, markah dia tinggi, puji la, jangan berat sangat mulut tu nak puji. Susah ke? Tak pun dia cakap dia study then cakap la yang dia ni bagus ka,yang pi cakap kat dia “itu pun nak bangga?”. Stop being so cruel.
Praising is a sort of motivation. Ni tips nak jadi parents yang BERGUNA, bukan jadi parents yang TAK GUNA. Aku nak bagitau kat korang ni bukan kat ibu-ibu dan bapak-bapak kat luar tu, yang bukan mak dan bapak pun cuba la ringankan mulut dengan pujian. Adakah akan kena oral thrush mahupun oral cancer kalau memuji?tak kan?
Nature aku bukan suka bangga-bangga, tapi kalau aku cerita something untuk di appreciate ada sebab dia. Nak motivation je, nak harapkan parents aku? They planted fear in my heart more than love, kau expect aku harap praising dari diorang?
p/s:
I keep ranting rubbish lately..
Thursday, January 19, 2012
No More
"its just a cup,or a smile"
I am just a colossal mortification and embarrassment. Now I’m going to show that fake face to everyone, EVERYONE. Yeah, including YOU. Hey guys, one more thing, impede hoping, it didn’t give you anything, anything at all. You will only end up getting upset and hurt in the end. Believe me, I have been bathed in hope up till now and its nothing but a complete twaddle. I give it up a long time ago, and think that I can hope again and I was wrong. If there is evil in this world, I would say that it is HOPE. From today on, I pledge on myself to commence the PRETENSE.
p/s:
im really fucked up..
im really fucked up..
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Plaything and the Past
I sense their outlook about toys is come what may true. Enjoice, as it might be useful when you are having a lametard frork partner in life.
abelljefrry H.S. Abell Jefrry
Tekanan perasaan yang dialami seseorang masa kecil, akibat 'impian' untuk memiliki permainan tak tercapai, mungkin boleh ditebus masa dewasa
Retweeted by hisyamchin
syvzwvn syazwan shafie
tahu tak kalau menghina pasangan yang suka kumpul mainan tu sama macam menghina zaman kemiskinan dia dulu. mentang2 kau kaya
Retweeted by hisyamchin
abelljefrry H.S. Abell Jefrry
Perempuan, kalau teman lelaki kamu kumpul permainan, jangan suka hati maki/gelakkan dia. Mungkin masa kecil dia tak berpeluang merasa. :(
Retweeted by hisyamchin
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Random Thoughts
I just have these random thoughts in my head for the few days:
“Not a soul wanna take what I’ve said gravely in a grave situation. What on earth blurted out is just another shaggy dog story to you. That is why I am trouncing behind the masquerade of a clown.”
“I am just a part timer”
“How can I have confidence when I am constantly rejected?”
“Replacing what I want into what you want doesn’t make me feel any better, but I can pretend”
Monday, October 31, 2011
#nowplaying
FML. I can't complain can't I? Its ok, all these songs shud be enough i guess..
We The Kings - Say You Like Me
American Mouth - Flightless Bird
Seabear - I Sing I Swim
Arctic Monkey - The Bakery
Creed - With Arms Wide Open
Pearl Jam - Last Kiss
Nirvana - Come As You Are
Evanescence - Lithium
We The Kings - Say You Like Me
American Mouth - Flightless Bird
Seabear - I Sing I Swim
Arctic Monkey - The Bakery
Creed - With Arms Wide Open
Pearl Jam - Last Kiss
Nirvana - Come As You Are
Evanescence - Lithium
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Tak
"Tak"
........
hari ni aku rasa sangat fakkap dan aku malas nak bukak fb n tuitter..
hilang mood nak study or pi dengkil..
.......
aku layan lagu ni sampai esok pagi then baru sambung study ah..
p/s:-
lagu yang paling sesuai dengan mood aku sekarang
........
hari ni aku rasa sangat fakkap dan aku malas nak bukak fb n tuitter..
hilang mood nak study or pi dengkil..
.......
aku layan lagu ni sampai esok pagi then baru sambung study ah..
p/s:-
lagu yang paling sesuai dengan mood aku sekarang
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Aku Tak Emo, Nak Kongsi Je
Baru-baru ni ada ustaz yang mengajar aku pengajian Islam, bukan aku tak suka subject ni, tapi aku ada certain phobia and skeptical mind kat diorang. Don’t blame me niggah, blame my past.
Bayangkan ustaz ni masuk2 kelas dah nak tanya sape budak skolah agama, sape belajar bahase arab, memang tak dapat la der. Pastu die pun pergi berdialog dalam bahasa arab dan men doakan kitorang supaya grow interest kat kelas die. Well the probs is ustaz, aku tak paham kau cakap pe, and I do feel discriminated.
#story 1
Dulu bukan tak pernah jadi benda macam ni, dulu time kat kolej pun, ustazah dok tanya sape dari sekolah agama, dapat pulak ada 4 orang, dah la sekolah sambest, plus sorang lagi tu tahfiz plak kan, memang kami-kami yang lain ni kena discriminate habis ah.
"kamu pergi haji pun saya tak percaya!"
“ape bukti kau ustazah tu discriminate bad?”
“aku nak story ah ni kejap la barua!”
Ok, bayangkan mase kelas, kami memang tak boleh keluarkan laptop masing-masing. Tapi bila salah sorang student “sekolah agama” ni mengeluarkan laptop beliau, aku pun tengok je ah, nak panas die member aku, so chillax je ah. Then aku pun keluarkan gak ah laptop, nak salin nota softcopy and google terus benda yg ustazah cakap sebab aku tau ilmu aku tak tinggi. Tiba-tiba;
“hisyam! Kamu ni memang tak boleh nak belajar elok2 ke?kelas agama je main2, kamu lagi pentingkan dunia dari akhirat ke?”
*aku pun bermonolog
“barua ape?aku google pasal benda ustazah cakap gak, pasepa fire aku?”
“lagi satu, ni barua sebelah aku ni dok chatting sampai ustazah nampak benda die chat boleh plak main chillax je?”
Dari situ aku dah syak something, memang kalau kau ilmu agam tak cukup, golongan agama ni akan pandang kau pakai kepala bontot.
Tapi bestfren aku time tu, merangkap classmate cakap jgn skeptical sangat, bagi chance sikit kat ustazah tu. Fine!
#story 2
Tak lama pastu, ada tawaran untuk kursus kahwin, aku time tu nak snagat pergi sebab nak tambah ilmu aku, sebab dalam kelas cakap benda ni macam taboo je.
So aku dengan bestie aku pun mengorak langkah menuju ke ustazah dengan yakin.
“ustazah, saya dengan faiz nak join kursus kahwin ni boleh?”
“kamu nak join?hafazan pun tak lepas nak kahwin?, takpela hisyam, dah penuh pun ni”
*aku jalan balik kelas dengan kepala tunduk bawah, kecewa
Then esoknya aku tanya member yang pergi, ade sorang member ni baru nak pi register kat ustazah, pergi office jumpa, then balik aku dengan confident cakap;
“mesti dah penuh dah kan?aku dah cakap dah”
Mamat tu dengan selamba badak sumbu cakap camni;
“mana ada, aku register bawah slot ustazah tu elok je”
Aku diam, aku taknak benci ustazah, die bagi aku ilmu, tapi kenapa die pilih student camni? Layak ke die nak judge aku?
#story 3
Sekolah aku dulu mostly budak-budak yang amik bahasa arab, tak pun asal sekolah agama. Aku pun taktau kenap aku bleh dapat tawaran masuk situ.
So sekolah yang “cemerlang” ni kalau bagi hafazan ke, sekejap je diorang dah settle dah, aku yg dari sekolah harian ni terpancut-pancut gak ah baru dapat hafal.
Then ada satu hari ni, ustaz ni out of the blue tetibe je bagi 2 haours and surah untuk hafazan. Aku yang tak prepare ape-ape ni gelabah and nervous sampai peluh-peluh. So ditakdirkan yang aku ni tak habis hafal.
Ustaz ni pun dengan selamba nya pi buat pengumuman depan kelas;
“Alhamdulillah semua orang di dalam kelas ni dapat menghabiskan ayat yang diberikan kepada mereka kecuali HISYAM”
Perasaan malu tu memang dah tak boleh nak bendung, aku rasa macam nak pindah sekolah pun ada, dah lah life kat sekolah tu macam hell, kena pulau sebab benda bodoh, member takdak, ni sekarang ustaz pun dah start cop aku.
Semenjak hari tu kalau time kelas agama je, die mesti tanya aku hafazan dah siap ke belum, tapi tanya aku macam nak bagitau satu kelas. Harom betoi!
"haizz, mana la nak letak muka ni"
#story 4
Dulu kalau korang semua pergi mengaji kecik-kecik, mesti lepas khatam je ade buat makan-makn ke, or sedekah sikit kat ustazah kan?
Well dulu family aku serius tak mampu, dah la dok umah sewa, makan pun cukup-cukup jek. Tapi bapak aku ada kesedaran, die taknak anak-anak die Al-Quran illiterate, so die pun pi hantar adik aku kat masjid ni coz ade ustazah yang nak mengajar.
Tapi aku pelik gak ah, every month ustazah ni mintak duit RM60, padahal mengajar tu seminggu sekali je, tu pun satu page. Takpela, bapak aku cakap yang lebih tu kite sedekah, sebab biasa bapak aku bagi 100.
Then bila sampai waktu adik aku dah khattam, ustazah ni pergi jumpa mak aku, then die mintak macam-macam, kain pelikat, kain batik, duit extra, and pulut untuk setiap murid lain and diri die sendiri. Mak aku yang pelik ni pun tak berapa setuju ah, dah la kitorang ni bukan golongan yang mampu sangat, nak pulak buat macam kenduri kesyukuran dah aku tengok.
Then ustazah ni pun ugut mak aku;
“Kalau puan tak buat semua ni, saya tak dapat jamin Azlan dapat teruskan dengan exam die nanti”
Hamboi!mentang-mentang adik aku dah nak upsr, kau boleh plak pergi ugut camtu kat mak aku? And macam mana kau tau mak aku convert? Mak aku yang terasa sikit ni pun story kat bapak aku;
“sebab mama ni muallaf dan taktau ape-ape die nak ambik kesempatan ke?”
Bapak aku dengan selamba tahi nyamuk (standard lelaki ah) reply;
“takpela mak, anggap tu sedekah je la”
Aku tak sure story ni korang faham ke tak, tapi aku tengok kat sini, bila orang tu rasa diri die lebih banyak ilmu dari orang lain, orang lain akan dipandang hina dan dimomok-momokkkan dengan pengetahuna agama nya.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
My Weakness?
Rather than scripting something smart, I think I wanted to rant something that skulk in my head for few the past days.
Yeah, I wanna write something stupid, problem?
I think starting from today, im gonna update my blog once in a week (hopefully im that consistent)
I have one big weakness that is I always think about others before I think about myself.
Well, genetically, I should be kiasu, selfish, and stingy as it is in my blood. But with people I care, I always think about them first.
Let’s say, when I was in a voyage or a vacation, these are the things that played in my head;
“Mak suka baju jenis ape ye?”
“Hasyim ni kalau beli baju ni agak-agak dia pakai tak eh?”
Or
“Kalau belikan HER benda ni agak2 dia suka ke?”
And when im back from a rip, I always ended up not buying anything for myself
Let’s take another example,
When I am in a train or LRT, I was always,ALWAYS auspicious to found a seat for myself, but the dilemma is, I have problem sitting on it. Why? Because I always think someone might needed the seat more than I do. In a business world, I might not even make it far.
My ancestors would be so disappointed in what ive become, that’s im pretty sure. A selfless attitude isn’t in my gene. Btw, Chin Peng isn’t my fookein ancestors u bloke!
Sometimes people say that I am nerve-racking too much, or think too much. Yeah, maybe if I am alone, I can’t bring to a halt myself from thinking.
Some people says that I’m stupid by being thoughtful too much, well I admit that I might worry too much. But it’s not my purpose too, I didn’t be acquainted with why I was born this way (yeah gaga,I took your line, STFU)
But I dint ask no matter which in return, seriously. Sometimes, what I need is just a little gratitude or simple thanks. It wasn’t really hard; I can smile all day if I see people around me are smiling.
I always wanted to be like Snape, those who watched Harry Potter n the deathly Hallow part 2 and says that they liked him even before, you guys can Kiss my donkeh arse! When he was still the bad guy, nobody likes him; everyone is sooooo mad at him and hated him. U guys even made the lulz comic on him. And now, when he swiftly became the good guys, everybody started to likes him, what a beyatch! Booyah!
"i don't have problem you hating me bloke"
That is how people are, when they are the bad guy, you always see them only in one way despite taking the fact that they too have the second side of the story.
I too love the character Snape, not because of the fookein deathly hallows part 2, but long when the sorcerer stone is discovered, I knew he was good.
Same with fan of Shia Labeouf, everyone likes him when he started to become macho either in that stoopig Transformers, Eagle Eyes, or even Disturbia. Everyone suddenly wanna lick his hairy butt when he became a stars.
"People make mistake, but God didn't right?"
But I am a fan of him since he was still in that “Disney Age”. Ever heard bout the movies Tru Confessions? Its one of the archetypal movies that gave me the #manlytears
“tak pernah dengar pun?”
“memang la bijak, kau isap susu mak kau lagi kot!”
Ok, im kidding, maybe ur sucking the cow nipples already, back to the story, its about twin brother and sisters, where the brother can be portrayed as mentally confront. Naah, easeh, retarded. And the sister, well shes just normal. But having a retard brother aint easy, and if he is a twin of yours, times the whole life-sucks-hard thingy by 100!
That story actually assails me directly into the heart, because I too, used to feel so inferior and helpless. But no matter what, he taught me to be strong.
I have a twin brother, when were still in primary school, he is already actively involved in the story telling competition, public speaking, and many more things that needs you to speak in front of hundreds of audience. And me? Im just a stupig brother (stupid and fat like pig, get it?) so I was always substandard and mediocre in many ways, I was never the apple in my parents eyes, so when I grew up, I kindda expected myself to not be the apple in anyone eyes, though deep in me I hope to be appreciated, even a little.
p/s:-
Its getting late, need sahur, nite.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
All the Same
Ever caught about the song “All The Same” by Sick Puppies?
Before you wanna read teh post, it would be better to play the song first and read em while ur listening. n_n
I’ve played this song for days and the lyrics keep frolicking in my head like a shaman’s chant to a voodoo doll. There are several reasons why I keep playing this song, yeah, several, aint just one.
And there is a certain part of the lyrics that catches my interest the most which is as follows;
“I don’t like illusions I can’t see
Them clearly”
It clearly state how I feel unerringly. Maybe my cranium is too thick and I have problem understanding how people actually think about me. I don’t mind really if a person hate me, or they like me, but I would really, really escalate if they say it on my face.
Because utmost of the time, I’m a paranoid who think that people will see me as someone that they don’t like and they have to sham to like me.
If you ponder having someone extraordinary in your life in your relationship will buzz out the solidity and loneliness you've been plaster all these years living in this world, well that’s not unerringly true and a valid intention to twitch a relationship.
Let’s make an analogy or correspondence shall we? Imagine there is a gigantic jar, and you wanted to fill the jar.
1. The mr/ms Right Person came into your life = the empty jar is filled with stone
When you plug up a jar with stone, you will realize that there are actually still lots of space between the stone and the jar right?
2. You started to go out, (knowing each other) = the jar that contains stone is now filled with sands
Now you might think that the jar is already copiously filled right? Like, how is a jar can be chockfull again right? They are too jam-packed to be filled. But think again mate.
3. Taking risk = filling the jar with water
When you are adage about falling or loving for someone, you have to take the risk and jeopardy a Iil right? You can’t always be on the safe side; you must be set to take the peril of being wounded or loved. You can’t say to yourself or others something like, I don’t wanna talk about this or that because I’m afraid having the idea of losing someone. Thus you will be restricting your line, and the fulfilment won’t be finalized.
p/s:
Whatever i rant,it is not life related
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Canvas of Life
At the commencement of my blogging, this consign, it used to be the place where I would just write anything and everything without judgment of consequences. I would rant and seethe anything just to get the thing in my head vacant.
And before this blog become my canvas of idea, it was the sketchbook. I got lots of sketchbook and I draw my reverie, my detestation and everything I wanted to. I draw man with wings cause sometimes I do dream of flying (everyone does, stop lying you pighead!). Or I draw monster so that they might pop out and bite of someone that I don’t like (I used to draw a dog biting my teacher’s ass #lulz).
And lately I started to torn down my wall and share it to people. Not many, only a handful and selected people whom I trusted. When we share with people, sometimes we do expect them to share back, because they are human aint it right? But humans have walls that they created.
Lately I don’t think sharing existed anymore, so it is better for me just to fabricate up the wall once more. It is the lack of reciprocal that causes me not to share anymore. It is not that easy for me to open myself up, but when I do, I kind of expected people to do the same because for me, humans are mutual with one another.
Ever heard about the story between a monkey and a boy, the boy wanted to eat some apple but he can’t climb, so he throw rocks at the monkey on a tree, the monkey throw him back with apples. That is how human communication should be, two ways (ignore the rock and the apples); in IT world it was called the 2.0.
Without mutuality, an institute will crumble. Just look at friendster, do you know why it was closed down before? It’s because of the lack of 2.o (mutuality) between users (facebook got chat FTW). Let’s get back to the boy, imagine if the monkey didn’t throw anything back, what would happens to the boy? He will still keep on throwing until he was tired, so he walks away.
Maybe that how I am going to be too. Maybe I should get back to my old canvas, the sketchbook. In that way, I don’t have to expect anything right? The higher u fly, the harder u fall, thus, I wanted to fly low for a while. No more brick by boring brick eh?
Thursday, March 17, 2011
scribble
Lawak jugak tengok ape yang hisyam tulis sebelum ni, English terabur, bahasa tu kekadang nak kotor je. Tapi content tu nampak sangat ah jahat dan tak macam manusia. Tapi nak buat macam mana kan? Dah tulis pun.
Hari ni result mid sem keluar, mula-mula memang tak nak tengok pun result tu sebab tahu dah memang teruk. Hari tu masa nak mid-sem, macam-macam dugaan yang datang. Rasa macam nak lari je. Lari dari semua masalah ni, tapi memang takkan dapat la kan.
So hari ni rase sangat-sangat lah down dek kene penangan result tu. Nak bagi alasan ape lagi kat mak? And confirm mak akan kecewa kat hisyam, macam biase. Susah jugak ye hidup dalam expectation.
Dalam hidup nix tau dah brape kali hisyam gagal. Banyak sangat sampai diri tu kekadang jadi malu. Malu nak hadap muka kat kawan-kawan dan kadang-kadang terasa hina sampai tak mampu buat ape-ape pun. Mampu senyum je.
Entah la, mungkin bagi sesetengah orang result tu macam angka biase, tapi bukan family hisyam. Tu macam satu benda yang sangat-sangat la penting. Sampai orang nak compare sangat benda tu. Tapi serius, memang hidup ni exam based ke?
p/s :
babad tak tulis benda ni
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Cocky Bastards!!!!
Humble might be devoured by Cockiness mind
It is really scary to think what I might be if I’m gonna be tested with prosperous rather than obstacle and impediment in this life..I have saw some people in my life,when they are on top, they forgot about the people below..
“Keep ur feet on the ground even if ur head is in the sky”..
It remain playing in my head..I too know how it considers to be on top..It is like u have a Great Wall of China in frontage of you and all the guidance and proposition will be seen as an enormous menace..
Hey! Look closely at me and say listen to me EGO! I am gonna find a way to crush you..one way or another..just wait,we will meet on this side,or the other!
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