#nowplaying

FML. I can't complain can't I? Its ok, all these songs shud be enough i guess..

We The Kings - Say You Like Me

American Mouth - Flightless Bird

Seabear - I Sing I Swim

Arctic Monkey - The Bakery

Creed - With Arms Wide Open

Pearl Jam - Last Kiss

Nirvana - Come As You Are

Evanescence - Lithium

Reason

It was weird when you are silent for the whole night,now I know the reason:

"STUPID!" (its my ringtone for text)

*1 new message from Big Bully*

"Cause I wanted that moment to be engraved in memory. Looking at u sleep. Sitting in the erl next to you,holding ur hand. Watching the scenery outside."

p/s:-

stoopig laptop..WHY U NO GOOD?

Warm Rain..

I hope whoever read this post will not judge me or making fun of me.

She asked me out, to have a date and study at the same time, my heart jump, I know it might not signify much, but to me, every moment with her is a moment I will cherish. So I rushed, but as I am on the way to meet her, it is already raining.

I am a poor lad, so I only have a bike as my focal transportation, I didn’t really care, so I just ride through the drizzly hours of darkness to meet her. I have been working out, so the lactic acid in my muscle is really excruciating, see in your mind's eye that there’s numerous number of spiky lump inside your muscle, I even need to put in a great effort to wear my shirt.

As I am riding in the rain, the meter reached nearly 130km/h, so imagine the speed of rain drops bombardment at your skin embossed with the pain in your muscle, it’s like thousands of mini rocket with the size of a pea shot at you with a minigun, its somehow unbearable, but it’s weird, because I hardly focus on my pain and in my head, all I think about is her.

The jiffy I saw her face, I was smiling, again. We went to the nearest mamak stall and opened our notes (I don’t have any notes in actual fact) and we (it is only me actually) managed to finish the assignment because she finished it earlier, and we discussed it later, that discussion really helped me in the class later.

Subsequently I wanted to start a conversation, but she wanted to study as she wanted to score for the next quiz and she didn’t wanna spend the weekend studying as she wanted to emjoy the time with her friends. I wanted to tell lots of story, what happened, but I put them into halt, I know I aint suppose to be selfish.

I wanted to tell her about how lots of things that happen, lots of story to be shared, but that night, I just shut my mouth out. It’s an awkward silence to me; imagine that you have a balloon that is inflated and ready to be let out..haha

Bla blab bla, the mamak stall is closing, so I have to send her home. Fookein mamak, closing so early, mamak stall should be 24/7 !

It is still raining, so we walked all the way through the rain. We play in the rain, like a child, kicking the puddle of water, jumping and splashing each other! God how I miss that.

And then, the magic moment happens, she hold my hand, its indescribable, it is soft, tender, and most important, it gave me a warmness feelings (i just cant find a perfect word to describe it). My hands didn’t sweat; it’s like accepting her hands with my heart. We walked, and walked, and I swear that I wish I can be in that moment forever.  

Rain. I used to hate rain so much. It reminds me lots of thing that I don’t wanted to remember. It’s like a “secret place” for me to cry my heart out because it will wipe my tears away.

But now it has changed, the rain who used to be so cold and sad, it is now giving me a smile, straight from my heart. I closed my eyes and opened it back; I know it’s not a dream.

I just wanted to thank her, for changing the rain from how it used to be into the new rain, I call it our rain moment (just shut the fakkap, I know its lametard but just bear with it lad)

The rain, it will never be the same again, maybe I will have to find another “secret place” of mine, and I am thinking about the shower (lulz)

p/s:

i know this time its pretty boring

Kasut converse and Kasut bata

When I was going out with some of my friends, I wanted to go into a converse shop. I was so fascinated to a white converse shoe that looked so sophisticated yet classic. 

I was about to buy it and when I flipped the price tag, it costs two months of my money. And then abruptly from my back,

“eh, ni kasut sekolah aku dulu bad,kau nak beli kasut ni ke?”

I was silent for a while, and had bermonolog dalaman

“kasut dekat 2 rat ni hang cakap kasut sekolah, aku dulu kasut BATAK kot”

Yeah, one of this shoes can actually buy 8 similar shoes as mine. It didn’t end there;

“kasut ni dulu aku beli setiap tahun, tiap tahun beli kasut yang sama”

De Eff!!! U buy this shit every year for five years? wait, by adding another 6 years of primary school into that,ur actually wearing these freakin shoes for 11 years and aku Cuma mampu beli binatang harroom ni when I am already 21?

I was so envy to those who have richness beyond human expectation, its like they are living between the life of bruce wayne and uncle scrooge.

"one is diggin beetchah and the other is diggin munneh"

I wish I can give some filet mignon (I don’t even fookein know what kindda thing is that but I do know it is creakingly expensive!) but I can only give sate lembu satu cucuk to you.

I wanna write something longer but I cant really do that cause I don’t have my own laptop for the time being, so I will just put my idea into halt for a while..

Well the main question for this post is,

“Apa beza kasut converse dengan kasut bata?”

Tell me if you are on the same boat

In a football game during PE, I was always the last one to be picked because I’m FAT and STUPID

Kalau main petang-petang dengan budak-budak taman, confirm they will chose me last.

“aku pilih mat”

“kau pilih hisyam”

“mana boleh,tadi osom tak kira, aku taknak hisyam team aku”

“sial la, aku pun taknak”

See that, they are even belligerent till their veins are out just because they don’t want me to be in their team. But whenever I am playing games, I will give my heart out, chasing the ball like a mad man running till my shirt is drenched with sweat and my breast(yeah i got boobies then coz im too fat) is throbbing as i lost my breath. But still, i cant contend with all those skinny kids, they don’t even have to show any hard work in chasing the ball. So i ended up giving up playing any sports, don’t blame me, if you yourself are constantly rejected you will give up in philanthropic efforts.

When I watch movie, I hardly imagine myself as the main character,

In Starwars, I’m the clone troopers, or maybe the fat one and the one that depart this life first slashed by the lightsabers.

In Harry Potter, I’m the dementor. I absorb the happiness of others, so that i can be happy, yeah i am fookein egocentric, i got hole in my heart did anyone of u give a fak?no right? So Shut The Fakkap!

In Power Rangers, i am not even one of the rangers, i am one of the balaci that will be shot to death at the commencement of the scene. The power rangers don’t even have to transform to kill me, i am THAT insignificant.

When people asks me about my dream, i will just reply that i dint have any

My mum used to asks that question a lot, but it will always ended up as a joke to her.

“hisyam nanti nak beli rumah yang macam mana?”

“rumah simple,luar kayu dalam batu”

“hahaha!tu bukan rumah, tu pondok,hisyam nak tinggal dalam pondok!”

“bukan mum,hisyam nak buat rumah yang...”

“hahaha!tengok anak abah yang sorang ni,ade ke nak tinggal kat dalam pondok?”

So if you asks me about my dream, be ready to hear bout em, and please, don’t joke bout it. Dream is the blueprint of the future life, its not a joke.

So guys, don’t talk to me about confidence suppression if you haven’t face any, mine might not be the worst, but still, its painful yo.

Comments

Hari ni baru nak check kat comment section blog aku, and guess what, its the longest comment ive ever got. Thanks to Aya Sofia and midnight misery for the comment. So this post is gonna be solely bout the comment they are posting which i found interesting.

Aya Sofia :

slm

" rasa cam discriminated"
paham perasaan awk..

juz klaz saya majoriti budak india, lecturer mostly import dari india..so yeaahh, diorg cakap tamil without thinking yg non-indian ni x terasa ke..?

no, im not racist, percayala..saya sindri mix chinese, nk racist amende..? hee..tapi bende2 camni yg kadang2 wat saya kecik ati....

diorg baek tu baek, pandai, lecturer pun suberb, tp B considered la kan..

mayB x sama mcm aper yg awk rasa, but da point here is being discriminated...

wsslm

ok, now next one is from midnight misery :

I agree yang some ustaz and ustazah have the tendency to discriminate kids. at my school, i was one of the bad kids, i did as many bad things as other kids, some even did more thatn me, but my ustazah said i was 'pelajar paling keras kepala dalam maktab ni' just cause i was always caught red-handed.

i'm always skeptical to ustazs and ustazahs. i think only seriously wise people can call themselves ustaz and ustazah. people who knew judging never brings good results, people who knew different people see the world in different way, people who not only learn religious studies, but is able to see Islam in everything the world offers, arts, aciences, maths etc.


btw, its in reply to my older post link

Tak

"Tak"
........
hari ni aku rasa sangat fakkap dan aku malas nak bukak fb n tuitter..
hilang mood nak study or pi dengkil..
.......
aku layan lagu ni sampai esok pagi then baru sambung study ah..

p/s:-
lagu yang paling sesuai dengan mood aku sekarang