Tuesday, August 16, 2011

My Weakness?

Rather than scripting something smart, I think I wanted to rant something that skulk in my head for few the past days.

Yeah, I wanna write something stupid, problem?

I think starting from today, im gonna update my blog once in a week (hopefully im that consistent)
I have one big weakness that is I always think about others before I think about myself.
Well, genetically, I should be kiasu, selfish, and stingy as it is in my blood. But with people I care, I always think about them first.

Let’s say, when I was in a voyage or a vacation, these are the things that played in my head;

“Mak suka baju jenis ape ye?”
“Hasyim ni kalau beli baju ni agak-agak dia pakai tak eh?”
“Kalau belikan HER benda ni agak2 dia suka ke?”

And when im back from a rip, I always ended up not buying anything for myself

Let’s take another example,

When I am in a train or LRT, I was always,ALWAYS auspicious to found a seat for myself, but the dilemma is, I have problem sitting on it. Why? Because I always think someone might needed the seat more than I do. In a business world, I might not even make it far.

My ancestors would be so disappointed in what ive become, that’s im pretty sure. A selfless attitude isn’t in my gene.  Btw, Chin Peng isn’t my fookein ancestors u bloke!

Sometimes people say that I am nerve-racking too much, or think too much. Yeah, maybe if I am alone, I can’t bring to a halt myself from thinking.
Some people says that I’m stupid by being thoughtful too much, well I admit that I might worry too much. But it’s not my purpose too, I didn’t be acquainted with why I was born this way (yeah gaga,I took your line, STFU)

But I dint ask no matter which in return, seriously. Sometimes, what I need is just a little gratitude or simple thanks. It wasn’t really hard; I can smile all day if I see people around me are smiling.

I always wanted to be like Snape, those who watched Harry Potter n the deathly Hallow part 2 and says that they liked him even before, you guys can Kiss my donkeh arse! When he was still the bad guy, nobody likes him; everyone is sooooo mad at him and hated him. U guys even made the lulz comic on him. And now, when he swiftly became the good guys, everybody started to likes him, what a beyatch! Booyah!

"i don't have problem you hating me bloke"

That is how people are, when they are the bad guy, you always see them only in one way despite taking the fact that they too have the second side of the story.
I too love the character Snape, not because of the fookein deathly hallows part 2, but long when the sorcerer stone is discovered, I knew he was good.

Same with fan of Shia Labeouf, everyone likes him when he started to become macho either in that stoopig Transformers, Eagle Eyes, or even Disturbia. Everyone suddenly wanna lick his hairy butt when he became a stars.

"People make mistake, but God didn't right?"

But I am a fan of him since he was still in that “Disney Age”. Ever heard bout the movies Tru Confessions? Its one of the archetypal movies that gave me the #manlytears

“tak pernah dengar pun?”
“memang la bijak, kau isap susu mak kau lagi kot!”

Ok, im kidding, maybe ur sucking the cow nipples already, back to the story, its about twin brother and sisters, where the brother can be portrayed as mentally confront. Naah, easeh, retarded. And the sister, well shes just normal. But having a retard brother aint easy, and if he is a twin of yours, times the whole life-sucks-hard thingy by 100!

That story actually assails me directly into the heart, because I too, used to feel so inferior and helpless. But no matter what, he taught me to be strong.

I have a twin brother, when were still in primary school, he is already actively involved in the story telling competition, public speaking, and many more things that needs you to speak in front of hundreds of audience. And me? Im just a stupig brother (stupid and fat like pig, get it?) so I was always substandard and mediocre in many ways, I was never the apple in my parents eyes, so when I grew up, I kindda expected myself to not be the apple in anyone eyes, though deep in me I hope to be appreciated, even a little.

Its getting late, need sahur, nite.

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