Selamat Hari Kebapak

Happy Father’s Day!

Kat rumah orang susah sikit nak post something, but I just have to get the idea out ya know. And more, I wanna thanks my dad for a few things that happened in my life;

Ceramah motivasi dah tak berkesan

My dad was a counselor, so whenever he has program or seminar or anything such, he will always bring me along. It’s fun but motivational program aint work with me after that. Plus, it taught me the arts of lying and trolling. I attend a form 5 program thou I was just form 2 at the time.

“Salam, saya Fariz dari SMKA XXX”

„Saya Haikal dari SMJK YYY“

Then i will start to troll and guess what? Aku kencing semua orang bhai! And for that, I wanna thanks my dad for letting me be a good swindler eh? Hehe.

#1 Anak jadi kaki kencing

And for the program, have you ever attend a program where they wanted you to cry and remind you about how important your parents are to you? And the peak and climax of the program would be meeting your parents when they are at the back sitting.

“kamu semua sayang ibu kamu?ayah kamu ? »

*some will cry  and weep

But it sure is wrong when your parents is among the speakers eh, they cant be found anywhere. And after that, no more nangis-nangis untuk program motivasi eh abah.

#2 Anak immune program motivasi

My dad used to be the rule breaker, which some I think is the traits. He used to play firecrackers in the house;

“Abah, Hasyim tak habis berak lagi, orang dah nak pergi sembahyang raya ni”

*my dad grab one rocket crackers and put it under the door and

KEBABOOM!

“ABAH!!!”

*my dad giggles like a child

#3 Anak abah jadi rule breaker

p/s:

thanks for everything

Kesian Para Lelaki

Ada 3 benda yang dah jadi ikutan dan igauan wanita-wanita kat Malaysia ni,

#1 . Prince William's wedding

Alrigh, he is a prince rite? So gegurls out there, please don’t dream too much on having such a perfect wedding. Then kereta kuda tu lagi, memang tak dapat ah jep.

“Abang, wedding kite nanti nak kereta kuda camtu eh?”

“No problem sayang, kereta gajah pun boleh”

Then balik rumah je mula zikir carut-carutan.

*mundar mandir dalam bilik tido, sambil gigit jari kira duit dalam buku akaun tak sampai 5 angka.

“Mana la nak dapat wedding camtu, kereta kuda lagi..Hadoi~”

See? Tu ah pasal. Kesian kot kat guys yang ada niat murni nak kawin tapi bini pulak buat hal nak demand macam-macam. Tak kesian ke? Don’t worry guys, aku ade solution untuk hangpa;

Kat kampong aku ni banyak lembu2 yang berkeliaran, so ape kata korang sewa je lembu-lembu ni then buat macam kereta kuda ala-ala Prince William. #epic #fuckyeah!

"ngahaha..padan muka!"

#2. The most epic proposal

Dah tengok video ni? It was so schweet mushy-mushy lovey dowey aint it right?

ini dah kalah cerita Glee ni. Now every single gurl out there is gonna dream about a proposal more epic than this one.

N guys out there, pecah otak sebab nak fikir idea proposal yg lebih epic to satisfy the dream. Just bayangkan something camni;

*a man is down on his knee

“will you marry me?”

“ni je yang kau mampu buat?”

DE EFF?! Man on his knee is already something hard, and you are expecting more. Ni la yang terjadi, same macam dalam cerita Madam Bovary. Expectation kills everything

#3. Aaron Aziz in Nora Elena

"aku jadi alim pun salah?"

Yang ni just baca kat blog entry aku sebelum ni..speechless..

Seth Tan susahkan hidup para lelaki

Nora Elena should be banned!

"fookein liar!"

Aku geram gile bila tengok orang dok cakap benda-benda best pasal Seth Tan (Aaron Aziz) the main character of drama ni.

"biaq berdarah mata hangpa tengok mamat ni"

I know that there a man like him do still exist, but its rare, its like looking for a black pearl in kedai jual kicap. Hang faham tak? In the drama, kalau bini dia ade problem je he can just KACHING!

“heres my credit card, you beli la ape2 yang patut”

“thanks”

Woi! Mane aci camtu, disebabkan hang la gegurls kat Malaysia ni dok gila-gila termimpi lelaki yang handsome + kaya + baik dan yang sewaktu dengannya. Well most of the guys in Malaysia ni pulak, especially meleis adalah hamba abdi gahmen yang maybe akan stuck hidup kat dalam middle class forever kecuali #najibulghunnah.

So even after marriage, some of the gurls will end up being like this;

“kenapa la laki aku ni tak kaya~”

“apesal la husband aku ni tak sweet macam die”

“husband aku ni takde la hensem sangat”

Kesian woo. Life is not about finding the perfect one, but being perfect when you are two-gether. Ada paham ka?  

Snow White Bangang

Kids nowadays are so feeble and pitiable, they act up but we can’t really censure and blame them for anything. They are like sponge and has been granted by god the aptitude to absorb knowledge which has endless possibilities. Well that includes the horrific one. That’s how #adindaevans and #bbnu came out.

Well I say, we should blame all those happy-fake-like-storybooks.

Snow White:

" im sexeh~"

What a metaphor, but somehow it is significance about how the name was supposed to be. Snow can only be related to white, am I right? How in the god forsaken world that it is possible for a snow that is black?

“ais kacang hitam kowt~”

“pungkok hang, tu bukan snow la bijak”

Ok2, back to the topic, what I am trying to say is that this snow white is some kindda bad influence to kids nowadays based on some points which are :

She lives with seven guys

"imagine if this is happening lulz"

Angmoh panggil bersekedudukan, belacan tongued people call em cohabit. Its about living together, different gender, without any legal ties (marriage).

Wait the minute… Seven? OMFGULALA!! Its SEVEN bloody guys! What can you say if a lady is staying with seven fookein guys in a same house? How lewd and indecent is that? I am not one of the #serbanistas who can chant any of the words from the holy book from skin to skin. But I do know that living with seven guys doesn’t sound right.

She lives like a leech. And some girls out there, when they see this as something that is not wrong, it wouldn’t give em a slight culpability when they are living in the same house with guys which have no relations at all.

Now you know how #adindaevans came into this world right? Don’t blame her, blame the story book! Who do you expect reading the book then? An old hag which is in their mid 30’s with half of their heads are shiny? Or lady with so many stretch marks on their tummy that it looks like a truck’s tyre? NO! Its kids where some haven’t even have their own sweet tooth.

Shes a materialistic lady

"I didn't stole that candeh!"

At the beginning of the story, she was friendly with all those seven dwarves, she even cooked, cleaned the house and many more. Although shes an upperclass people. Upperclass people are soooo pampered nowadays, well, not just upperclas people, upperclass-people-wannabe might behave the same way and it disgusts me even moaaarrr!!!!

“ I tak boleh makan ni la”

“ coklat murah ni, makan nanti ade allergy reaction”

“ kenapa busuk sangat ni?”

“you nak I makan kat tempat ni ke? Bersih ke? Euuw”

Such a bimbo! Hang dok kat keramat je kot, bukan hang tido dalam KLCC so takyah la nak bimbo-bimbo sangat. Stop raging, back to topic, well snow white is actually one of em, at the end of the story, when a prince (upper-class-rich-handsome) came, he went to follow him without hesitation and leaving (smelleh-poor-fugly-midget).

In one way, its good aint it? Kids learned about how cruel the reality is from story book. So they know that they have to be rich to be someone, otherwise you will just be like those dwarves, sad and lonely, it they might ended up being gay #lulz.

Some reminder:

- If you wanted to read bedtime story to your children, think twice in choosing the book.

- don’t point fingers to youth, they are our future, guide em, don’t blame em

p/s:

dang it feel so long..cant the time move faster?

Amik dari blog obe

ntah kenapa..this pict is so...so...so ohsem

link asal : Obefiend

my cold house

My parents are good at two things. Giving hope, and taking them back. I am supposed ot attend a a wedding, my friend, I mean, his sister is having a kenduri today. Some of them are waiting me in cyber because they are expecting me to come,

“bad, aku kat cyber ni, kau bile nak sampai?”

“aku tak dapat datang ah, parents aku suruh balik”

“tapi hari tu kata boleh”

“memang ah, tapi hari ni diorang keras gak nak suruh balik”

“takpelah bad”

“sorry”

They wanted me to be home so bad, as if they are expecting me to be home as soon as possible, and apparently, my brother is going home the same day. He arrived home in the evening. I tried my best and to the fullest to be home, I even ran instead of walking in gaiety. And when I reached home, it is dark. No wonder its dark, they are out already, and luckily my bro called and tell me that he left the key to our neighbour.  

Walking in the house, its dark and its cold. I don’t know the idea of what a home is, but for me, what matters the most are the people inside that will create the warmth that makes you eager to be home.

I remember when teacher used to tell us to draw “our home”. I will always draw my family with a smile on our face, a real smile. It was the smiling face that makes the drawing meaningful, nit how you actually draw a house.

I hoped that at least one, one soul that will welcome me home, but maybe I was wrong. I shouldn’t hope. A person used to tell me not to give up on hope, but  god loves to troll me aint he?

Hope is like a wing, it gave you strength and makes you fly, the possibilities are endless. Maybe I fly too high, and when the wings are ripped off me, I fall hard.

Now I am alone in the house, taking cold rice. This house sure is cold to me eh? Maybe I need to buy a teddy bear for myself, literally, so that whenever I am alone, I can always have something to be hugged and not feeling so left out.  

p/s : blame the writer for being a lametard