Lab is Fun-neh

Lab is one of the most tedious and lackluster thing that you will face in your education life. But providentially my classmate came out with a small number of ideas a propos overcoming the boring lab interlude. And these are their activities when they are in the lab.

TAKING PICTURE

It is a very emblematic activity more than ever when you are introduced into a new group mate or the experiment is in some way got some extraordinary and amusing elements.

"see! i got proof what"

They are typically people that can be categorized as narcissistic. It is not a ghastly thing at all, but it can be considered as something amusing and enjoyable right?  But prior to that, in order for you to take the picture of your own, or untuk kurangkan malu, ur gonna take picture with ur friends so that you will not be labeled as a narcissist right? (stop lying la, as soon as you are home, you will initiate to crop the picture and put your own face as a profile picture in facebook #lulz)

GOSSIP ABOUT OTHERS

Well, it ensue all the times, no matter wherever and whenever, I know that one way or another it is inevitable to do so. It happens mutually to girls and guys, BUT, girls will be more prominent in contributing to this field. OUCH!

"they are gossiping, believe me they do"

Well the gossip aint limits to solitary students, but also to the lecturer. Dang they really shouldn’t do that, because they are the one that edify us. But even I have done the same thing sometimes, I know, it is very bad and awful of me by doing so, it is just that I can’t really plunk the infuriating and maddening behavior embossed by the lecturer during lab.

DATING (hitting on gurls)

It is hard to detect this situation, but once you have an eye on it, you will start to comprehend that it is so funneh!

“Macam la takde mase lain nak ngorat”

Weyh! Be creative la, if you meet a nice gurl and hit her by asking the time is soooooo suppa lamefak already la weyh. It is the trick that is performed in “Ali Setan” boleh la. Now it is 2011, one year left until Jay Sean’s Armageddon. So be ingenious in your way to hitting gurls la bro. Thus it makes that hitting gurl during lab is not an appalling idea after all.

"for mere distraction as i cant find any lab related date pict"

Besides, its kindda quixotic what, just like scene in “SEPI” where Afdlin Shauki and Vanida Imran romantically date in the kitchen playing with food (aaw~), but change the picture into dating in lab instead, where u guys throw HCl and Aniline to each other, how fun was that eh?

“hik hik, janganlah baling~”

“naah~”

*PRANG!!!

*Bottle of HCl break on the gurl’s face

Her face deformed and the guy apparently was sued due to battering HCl and was accused for being a terroreist. Ok2, I am just kidding k, u can throw something that is less hazardous like NaCl (ni kalau baling muka deform gak tak tau ah) and get scolded by Kak Wahid (#lulz)

TALKING ON THE PHONE (GAYUT)

"seriously naqi would be mad lulz"

Ok, this is normally implied to those who have bf/gf. You are doing experiment and taking up some apparatus, then you started to hear something mushy2, sappy, fappy (oops!) at the back of yours;

“jangan la macam ni”

“you tak boleh buat kat I macam ni”

“but semalam I kat rumah je, sumpah!”

………..(silence)

“APSAL TETIBE JE LETAK!!!!”

I think you guys might be old and mature enough to understand the situation above right? Thus, further explanation about the situation is prohibited to cover the stupeidity of the person and for lulzing purposes.

PERFORMING MAGIC TRICKS

For this type of thing, I can’t really explain much about em, but you can just view the video below.

"HAAHA HA HA, kepala pika terbang~"

p/s:

I need to write something, it is a sort of escapism. And hope your guys know what surrealism is.

twinge

Abang-abangmu

Pilu hatiku sebagai seorang abang, bukan kerana keputusan yang diperoleh oleh adikku, tetapi kerana bimbang akan stigma masyarakat yang mungkin menjatuhkan maruah srta motivasi adikku. Mukanya besi perasaan tetapi hatinya kaca nipis. Tdak sanggup aku lihat dia dihujani stigma serta dimalukan sedemikian rupa. Ingin sahaja aku cilikan mulut manusia durjana yang menyetankan dirinya.

Hidup kita bukan berkiblatkan kertas keputusan tetapi usaha, itu yang aku tanam dalam diriku selama ini. Jangan risau, akan kucuba untuk memasang perisai agar ka uterus maju. Janganlah kau jadi seperti abangmu ini, hiduplah dengan alunan mu sendiri, jangan jadi seperti lalang, jadilah seperti pancang ditengah arus.

Persetankan setan-setan dunia itu. Biarkan mulut mereka dimamah batu panas neraka. Persetankan juga mata yang melihatmu dengan hina, biar mereka buta ditelan kemewahan dan keangkuhan mereka. Itu semua kerana mereka tidak melihat dengan mata hati tetapi mata yang alpa. Andai engkau tiada bahu untuk disandar, aku sedia, dan akan ku cuba untuk penuhi tanggungjawabku sehingga aku lihat kau berjaya.

Gagahilah dirimu kerana walau satu dunia benci akanmu, akan ku terus berjalan seiring disampingmu. Tidak banyak yang mampu ku ucapkan agar kau kembali bangkit seperti burung api yang bangkit dari abu kekalahan, membelah langit, mencapai cita jayamu. Tetapi kau adalah umpama mutiara jika dicampak ke laut, permata jika ditelan kebumi, malahan kejora yang terbang di gigi angkasa.

Tidurlah engkau agar sedihmu hilang bersama mimpi, bersama dengkur mu, agar kau bisa bangun dengan tawa dan senyum dahulu.

Pahit, penat dan tangis, biarlah ia menjadi pengajaran kepada aku dan engkau, agar kita sedar bahawa hidup kita umpama roda, bukan selalu diatas, mungkin terpalit juga kadang diatas muka tanah.

Selepas ini langkahmu akan lebih banyak api dan bara yang mengigit hatimu, memamah semangatmu, , membunuhmu, tapi janganlah gusar dan gentar, basahi lidah mu dengan pinta kepadaNya. tabahlah, tabahlah, tabahlah adikku.

Alan

Alan, hisyam tak tau nak cakap camne bagi alan elok sket, n hisyam tau tulis je. Tu pun mostly menghanjeng orang n diri sendiri. But kali ni hisyam nak alan strong sket ah. Since that blog ni bestfren am, and so biar die yang try tlg alan.

Memang family kite lain dari yang lain lan, ade special die but ade gak inadequacy and drawback die kan. Memang susah giler nak accept tapi alan kuat so try as hard as you can k.

Mum n abah camtu sebab diorang tu dah age yang late adult pun, so hormone diorang ade changes sket, tu yang kadang-kadang perangai macam pompuan PMS.

Tapi ape yang alan buat tu am sokong, tolong orang, lagipun macam alan cakap, family kite kadang-kadang lucky dari family lain, so ape salahnya gi tolong. Niat tu dah betul, so am 100% sokong.

Biarkan je ah diorang nk fikir ape pun, yang penting alan dah tolong kawan alan tu kan. Perangai alan yang before ni pun am dah lame dah maafkan alan, tapi mungkin mum n abah still susah nak lupekan semua tu. So, mungkin sebab tu gak ah diorang jadi agak paranoid kat alan.

Adeih, hal-hal agama ni am tak brape nak bijak, tapi am amik dari fb kawan am;

“Allah berfirman kepada malaikat-Nya:"Pergilah kepada hamba-Ku. lalu timpakanlah bermacam-macam ujian kepadanya karena Aku mahu mendengar suaranya”

(Hadis Riwayat Thabarani yang bersumber dr Umamah r.a)

Tengok ayat ni betul-betul n try hayati kejap. Mungkin Allah nak dgr voice alan dalam doa, kalau xde sape yang dapat tolong pun just try ah doa.Time kena ujian tu doa ah banyak-banyak sket.

Am pun ade problem kekadang tu, tapi insyaAllah alan ade papehal, just bagitau je ah kat am.

Kadang-kadang kite memang rase down gak lan, tapi jangan down sangat ah, nasib baik alan ni strong en? J and between kite 3 pun, am rase alan kuat gak ape (same cam hasyim) hehe. Tak macam abg alan sorang ni yang asyik ajak buat benda bukan2 je.

Remember ah, kalau alan xde sape nak bagitau ke, or need a shoulder, I will be there insyaAllah. Hasyim tu pun bleh gak, die bukan bank bergerak je, mulut longkang tu standard die ah, tapi kalau alan ade probs, die x agak-agak nak tolong.

"kiri: abg mulot-longkang-bank bergerak, kanan : abg retard-bangang-sikit-sikit"

N kali ni am dah x off phone dah k, so the line is open 24/7, so bile2 alan rase cam nak call ke, just call ah, am ade. N kalau aga-agak xde credit tu, bgtau ah, am bleh call gak kalau nak.

Single vs Couple

Ramai yang tanya aku knp aku masih single and actually aku ade reason sendiri. And reason aku ni tersangat lah mulia dan perlu dirahsiakan demi keamanan negara dan dunia. (Bapak extraneous alasan der) Tapi aku nak confer sikit pasal couple and single ni. Both ade baik and buruk die right?

COUPLE

"so schweet~"

Bagi aku couple skrng ni is just a trend. Lagi-lagi kat budak-budak yang baru nak matang.Kamon la ppeps. even your diapers were bought by ur mom, ur penilles and penis-less woithout em. Bukan ape, time aku mengajar kat pusat tuisyen pun, budak-budak ni kecik-kecik lagi dah pandai cakap pasal couple. Then bile tanya kenapa diorang couple sebab ape, ni jawapan diorang;

A  à“sebab die cute/lawa/hensem ____”just fill in the blank wif any words desired

B  à“die selalu belikan saya hadiah”

C  à”sebab semua orang dalam kelas ni pun couple”

D  à”senang nak study”

A, the aphrodite chaser

"shes smokein hot aint she?"

Ok, bagi jawapan untuk A tu, memang tersangat lah normal. Lets say a guy saw a beautiful gurl muka macam lisa surihani + scha al yahya sikit,tambah 2 credit point lagi bile suara tu plak lunak dan mampu mencairkan mana-mana lelaki, pergh! Smokein hot bebeih! sape lelaki yang cakap taknak gurls yang lawa tu tipu! HAAHA HA HA

But remember folks, exquisiteness aint gonna last, bayangkan gurls yg kau ske ni accident one day, and muke pecah?

“buat plastic surgery sudess”

Kepala hotak hang, igt senang ke buat surgery tu, percentage of getting the old face bukan tinggi pun. So golongan yang couple sebab lahiriah ni baik balik pikir laju-laju.

B, Guilt tremor

"i am so in love wif ya"(fake face)

Orang belikan kau hadiah, tapi jgn ah sampai paksa diri tu pergi sayang kat die. Tu hutang budi, bukan love, jangan confuse same sekali ok. Guys akan belikan hadiah untuk gurls just to impress em, and kalu beli selalu tu lagi ah. So beware gurls! Man are like predators!they trap and capture.(tak rugi aku bace microbes sebab bleh apply)

C, Twitter

Ni jangan nak jadi lalang sangat la weyh, kalau orang cakap camni;

“I don’t eat fish cause they pee in the sea”

And then disebabkan malas menggunakan cerebrum in your suppa thick skull tu, kau pun macam lembu kena ikat hdung dan testicles, main taram jek ikut. Adoi, kalau semua orng dalam kelas tu break up kau pun nak break up gak ke? Stop being ignorance beyatch will ya.

D, Brainy love

"i love to study wif u~"

Jawapan yang ni bleh caya 50-50 je. Ade member sendiri yang memang couple and it is unbelievable that diorang dua ni memang success. Tapi, bile ape yang kau cakap tu just alasan supaya orang lain tak menghanjeng kau, walhal kau nak cuddle2 jek ngan gf kau, then baik tak payah. Kang result makin lingkup ade ah.

SINGLE

HAAHA HA HA. Padan muke single, mesti tak laku. Mesti tiap kali valentine kau butthurt giler babs kan? Pastu bile pergi mall and shopping nampak ade couple jalan-jaln mesra sembang kau mesti macam kena tikam dengan pedang samurai Amaterasu kan?

Okay, single ni tak bermakna diorang ni loser rite? Statement atas tu just gurau (kekadang betol ape, hehe) Golongan yang single ni bagus gak sebenarnya, diorang tak perlu risau pasal nak text ke tak, credit sentiasa ade, tak perlu fikir nak pujuk memujuk (seriously ni benda paling susah kalau couple).

And kalau guys plak, diorang tak payah fikir pasal munneh sangat, sebab x payah nak bayar untuk 2 orang bile tgk wayang, tu belum pop corn lagi, coke lagi, dapat plak gf kuat makn, die nak corndog (jgn fikir bukan-bukan). Lepas tu makan, shopping lagi.Hadoi! Mau koyak poket lu orang brader!

“so ape yang kau nak cakap sebenarnya ni bad?”

Hek eleh, gua penat-penat cite lu tak faham-faham gak ke? Conclusion die, orang yang couple ni kena fikir balik niat diorang nak couple ni, betul ke?salah ke? Sengaja nak memuaskan hormone-hormone korang yang membuak tu ke?

Yang single ni plak, jangan lah down sangat, chillax la, orang nak kutuk tu lantak diorang la. Jangan la terpengaruh or rase down giler sebab ape yang orang cakap, Mark Zuckenber chillax je xde gf.

p/s :-

I write to run, again.pfft!

Cause without truth, we are savages. 

Love is?

Giler babs ah, tajuk pun dah corny semacam..lulz

Dulu bila couple orang akan selalu sangat Tanya kite ape itu chenta~. And bile tak dapat jawab, mula la muka ketat macam tahan berak 18 tahun. Lepas tu mula la nak merajuk. Then nak kene pujuk plak, hadoi~Tapi sebenarnya ade je jawapan tapi taknak bagitau sebab takut tak ikut skema jawapan yang dikehendaki.(cover la syial)

Di hari yang mulia ni, biar aku share sket ngan korang pasal benda yang agak taboo bagi mak aku ni.

Kalau nak tau, love ni macam magnifying glass, or microscope.

“apsal plak bad? Ko kalau jawab pun jgn main sebat je”

Chillax la, aku tak start story kau dah potong aku, boleh kne ED tau tak. Ok, aku ckp love ni magnifying glass bkn sbb ape, tapi love akan jadikan feeling yang sebelum ni normal je bagi kau jadi lebih kuat dan dibesar-besarkan. Let’s take the happy feelings. kalau hari-hari biase, korang akan happy gak, tapi xde ah sampai macam orang amik ketamin tambah ice pastu rendam dalam coke kan? Tak caya? Tgk situasi bawah;

Mamat: “Nah, hadiah untuk awak~”

Minah : “thanks awak~, suke sangat2”    

*atas kotak coklat tu plak ade card tulis benda sweet

*Minah senyum sampai telinga

"nah hadiah ikhlas~"

Ok, mengikut situasi diatas, kite bleh tengok yang Minah ni sangat2 la happy eventhou haidah yang die dapat ni Mamat beli kat kedai RM2 pastu amik dari kuotasi internet yang sangat2 corny kat lovingyou.com lulz!

Ok, awek ni bukan la bodo or anything, padahal hadiah yang die dapat tu simple je btol tak? Tu sebab she is in love, so semua benda yang die rasa time tu dah kne magnify dah, times 100! Tu yang happy semacam jek, senyum sampai gigi pun nak tercabut.HAAHA HA HA

But when theres a ying, theres a yang. Benda love ni tak datang one sided, die datang dalam set, macam combo set A  kat kfc or Set Quarter Pounder yang kat Mekdi, ade fries and carbonated drinks skali. Camtu gak ah love ni, mane ade everytime happy duwey lovey sexy jer~

Sekarang kite amik situasi lain plak;

*A Keluar dengan B

*tetibe ade minah suppa-hot-sexy-wonder-women-makes-me-go-booyah! Lalu depan diorang dua

*mamat A TERpandang

*Minah B naik hanging tangan cekak pinggang muka macam dragon nak makan knight

“Hoi! Mata tu ke mane?”

“mana ad eke mana2, tengok you jugak”

“chantek sket~, tengok pompuan sexy ah tu!”

*panas, mulut muncung sampai boleh sangkut hanger

"eyes to boobeih"

So, kat situasi diatas ni, kite tau yang mamat ni pun tak sengaja, nama pun “TER”, and jikalau diamati dalam kamus dewan pun, ter ni untuk describe situation yang orang kata tak sengaja pun. Contohnya, termakan, tertidur, tersepak, terlanjur (OopsS!). so nampak sangat yang semua tu tak sengaja betul tak? (kecuali terlanjur)

"merajuk!!"

Tapi minah ni nak pegi emo lebih-lebih pulak~Hadoi, ponat mamat ni nak pegi pujuk-pujuk minah ni. Kesian pulak den tengok. Ape yang cuba nak diutarakan ialah, benda simple je pun, tapi kenapa plak minah ni nak emo lebih-lebih betul tak? Padahal benda simple je, bukan lah sebab die ni PMS ke, or sesungut, tapi sebab die in love. So ape yang die rase time tu, marah die, dah kene magnify sampai 100 times, so kepada mamat, harap dapat bersabar.

Well, feelings yang dimagnify ni bukan kat marah and happy je, even disappointment, sad, hurt, and anything akan di besarkan gak. That is why, kalau boleh, in a relationship, kata-kata tu kdg-kdg kne jage sket, bukan ape, takut ade hati yang terguris plak kn. Susah plak nanti, tapi yang paling penting, try make your love happy, bayangkan bleh buatkan die betul-betul happy, you all will indirectly happy gak tgk die happy, betol tak?^^

"old couple makes me realizes that there is love that lasts"

p/s:-

its Sunday, FOOKEIN SUNDAY! Why weekend ends so fast…. 

Young and Hopeless but not Stupid

I know how various communities were so fluky when they were still a brood. They keep on tenterhooks that they can be flipside to their childhood life. But not me I am sure of that. My childhood verve was an absolute catastrophe and disaster I tell you. And I know that not a soul wish to be in my shoes. Below is some of the reason why I loathed my childhood life;

Claustrophobia

Well I really hate small places; I mean really tight places where it is hard for you to move. It feels like a caged bird. The whole thing of this fear started when I was 5 yrs old. Well it is typical and ordinal for a kid like me to play along with all the kids’ right? But there is this one day I played hide and seek and everything seems to be ok.

In view of the fact that that I am a retard ever since I got my sweet tooth.  I got too brilliant and searched for the most systematic place to hide. I found a large box, and attempted and struggled to conceal under it, but as I tried to lift it, I saw a cat and it run through me.  That stoopeid cat knocked on my leg and I kindda lose poise (since I got a very gigantic, full size body) I slipped and fall into a bottomless drain.

*found a large box

“hehe, ni confirm diorang tak dapat jumpe!”

*lifted the box

“MREEOOWWW!!!”

*body loses balance

“whooa~”

DEBUUK! (macam nagka busuk)

Well I was wedged in that drain till maghrib (yeah) and nonentity takes notice about my existence back then. It got yet nastiest and worst when there are lots of wire around my leg (stupid arse throw it in the drain.) it tangles around my crutch and I was stuck. Plus two point when my body was the same as an elephant, a giant and humongous elephant. So in the end, I was so scared of tiny place with limited place, I feel like I was in grave and I don’t really know how to overcome this fear that I have.

Playing Kampung Games

Well I don’t really know how you guys went thru your childhood life. Especially when it comes to play games. Soccer, baling selipar, or cops and robber, I was always the one to be singled out last and the solitary that is not the most darling. Well let’s take the baling selipar game for a scene.

Practically it’s a game of build, defense and attacking at the same time. It is waaay harder than playing Counter Strike or DotA. I still played this game in USM during the sports carnival lol. And we are sooo lucky that we got the 3^rd place hehe.

Ok2, back to the story, normally when we play the games, the leader of the team will have to choose the best player as where the criterion are as follow ;

The swifter – best in agile and is like a the most constructive asset in the team, just imagine Usain Bolt in your team, how cool and splendid is that eh

"i run, i fly, i play baling selipar~"

The midget – they are also valuable for their minute size, they are a unbreakable target. They are the faultless red herring that can obscure the eye of the opponent and take the team to triumph.

"im fast niggah!"

The fast hand – just like the names, they can pin point of fact built in a blink of an eye, everybody crave for them as their hands can work marvel and revive the teammates

"u see me, u dont see me"

The sharpshooter – well, they can throw the selipar to the tower in just a try, the most will be only two try, I 

don’t really know if it was just an unadulterated luck or they are really endowed.

Now all the good stuff has been pulled out, apparently I was none of the above, due to the fat body I have, I am the easiest target of all, due to my large surface area, my lethargic and sluggish movement, plus,  I even wear spectacles. Thus giving me a -3 point to be chosen.

Gurls

"they are lil moster!"

Ok, I might have been in a relationship for nine fookein times before now, but the legitimacy is, I got hallowed of gurl when I was still a kid. It is not because they are endearing, but for the reason that of the sharpness of their words in “commenting” me, especially my physical;

“ikan buntal! Lari2!”

“小猪” ßthis is because I am in Chinese school before, not being racist

“budak gemok~budak gemok~budak gemok”

“ bulbasaur, bulbasaur, perutnya beso”

The statement above is just a lil life and curse I received back then.

And there is this one time, a group of gurl is gossiping (dang right, 10 yrs old and they are gossiping like donkey already), they talk about ranking the guy in our class, since that I was to lazy to play during recess (pfft! alasan). I eavesdropping em, so I heard about they ranked the hottest guy (he is now selling burger lulz) and when they are about to talk about the ugliest faggot, my name came first! How hurting was that?

“Siapa paling huduh eh dalam kelas ni?”

“mesti la hisyam!” (0.003sec)

“haah la, dah la gemok cam babi”

“tu ah, dah ah die cine, berak tak cebok”

“EUUWWW” *ramai2

Then their eyes rolled on me

*quickly hide ma face

kecik2 dah mulut macam labia majora defak!!!  I was so gloomy that I pretended that I was sleeping till the class ended, can’t even lift ma face.

Well those thing really teaches me to be an adult, teaches me about how to see people from their eyes, not from mine. I know sometimes I might make mistake but hey, everyone does right. That’s the end of my childhood nightmare.

scribble

Lawak jugak tengok ape yang hisyam tulis sebelum ni, English terabur, bahasa tu kekadang nak kotor je. Tapi content tu nampak sangat ah jahat dan tak macam manusia. Tapi nak buat macam mana kan? Dah tulis pun.

Hari ni result mid sem keluar, mula-mula memang tak nak tengok pun result tu sebab tahu dah memang teruk. Hari tu masa nak mid-sem, macam-macam dugaan yang datang. Rasa macam nak lari je. Lari dari semua masalah ni, tapi memang takkan dapat la kan.

So hari ni rase sangat-sangat lah down dek kene penangan result tu. Nak bagi alasan ape lagi kat mak? And confirm mak akan kecewa kat hisyam, macam biase. Susah jugak ye hidup dalam expectation.

Dalam hidup nix tau dah brape kali hisyam gagal. Banyak sangat sampai diri tu kekadang jadi malu. Malu nak hadap muka kat kawan-kawan dan kadang-kadang terasa hina sampai tak mampu buat ape-ape pun. Mampu senyum je.  

Entah la, mungkin bagi sesetengah orang result tu macam angka biase, tapi bukan family hisyam. Tu macam satu benda yang sangat-sangat la penting. Sampai orang nak compare sangat benda tu. Tapi serius, memang hidup ni exam based ke?

p/s :

babad tak tulis benda ni

BLACK IS COOL??

Since that I loathed to be in the cliché, I would to a certain extent be writing something that is completely biting wit (oxymoron is my favorite words btw)

"muka katak?"

It was supposed to be an entry about black is cool. Ok, let me solicit you back, to sit back and reflect about black, how cool is black? BAM! It wasn’t even close to a plane of coolness yes? And I will start to blabber and chatter about how not cool they are and why white is soooooo much cooler than black (LULZ);

THE FIGHT STARTS NOW!!

Legendary

"he is the legend"

Ever heard about Simo Hayha? No? haha. Ok, apparently at the beginning of his life, he is boring, but it was when Soviet Union assaulted and attacked his homeland, he wanted to be the martyr. And in order to do so, he went into the forest like a hibernating polar bear, sniped all those badass in six ft of snow and -30^oC below zero (defak??). if it was me, my mucus wouldn’t even have enough time to tap my mouth as it will freeze on the way.

So the dang Ruskies got butthurt and started to hound Hayha. Russian sent hundreds of scouts, counter –snipers, explosive bullets and bombarded the whole area. What a coward, but to no avail cause Hayha killed them all! PWNED. And in the 100 days, he summed up his trophies if headshot into 542 heads and 150 with smg (do the calculation on your own duh!).And at this time, he was called as the “THE WHITE DEATH”. Did you see that? It is white; it is fookein white and not black lulz!

1-0. *clapping sound for the first kill

Magic

"all we have to decide is what to do with given times" - gandalf-

The Lord of the Ring, J.R.R Tolkien, a grand story and the thing that I wanted to embellish about this story is the character, Gandalf. He is a wizard, at the establishment of the story, he was called as Gandalf the Gray. And at this part of movie, he was just a scrawny magician weigh against to Saruman. He was even whitewashed badly due to his color, I mean, power that he posses at that time.

But fear not, as at the nearly end of the story, he was known as “GANDALF THE WHITE”. He waves his wand and kicked those entire badass, he became more and more astute than he was before. And lead a long and peaceful life to the whole middle-earthian. Wait a minute; did you see what I see? It was White again. Lulz.

2-0 *double kill! wave~

Diamond

"let them decide"

I even say someone post about the beauty of a black diamond here link. Well let me ask you Mr. Wiseguyz, if you are proposing to a lady, in a full set restaurant of diner club, and when you kneeled on one foot, and show her a black diamond, what is her reaction?

“ Where do you get this ugly stone?”

“ it doesn’t even shine, do you think I am that cheap?”

“ you shouldn’t joke about this okay”

And worst thing worst, you will end up with a bitch-slap on your face lulz. It’s a waste because she didn’t even know that a black diamond is actually taking 3.8 million years to be formed. She might even get more incensed and lifted her high heeled gladiator shoes and *SWACK! It is in your skull. HAAHA HA HA

3-0. triple kill! star jump!

Animals

Ok, in this world, if you see many types of rare animals, they were all in white. Still don’t believe me? See the picture below a starts using your medulla oblongata;

"cool eh~"

See, and stop jaw dropping and drooling, I know it is awe. I felt the same too. in some country, they are even known as the descendant and essence of god! Seriously.

4-0. OWNING!!

Okay, that’s that, for my entry on and since that the rules have been set, I will follow it as below;

HEAD : Helmi , Saiful , Husna , Syakir , Naim

LINK : Husna and Azrin

Kenduri

Since that I crammed my heart with some rage, I know that it is not unproblematic to nourish them. But it kindda easy to burst them out ya. Yesterday was a morsel callous and rigid for me as I have to become a pengapit( and the day before). Sorry, can’t uncover a better expressions, might be bridesmaid (that sounded sooo gay).

So the whole bridesmaiding thingy was new to me. I didn’t really be on familiar terms with what to do. But I do take pleasure in my time being one. But my eagle eyes didn’t stop to scrutinize the people around me and here are some populace that kindda annoy me during the whole kenduri;

Mak Cik Internet

"yaw yaw, twitter is so lame yaw"

If you think that twitter is so cool, think back, cause yesterday I saw a human internet.

“semalam kau tau tak yang X pergi beli kete baru~”

“tau-tau, beli kete Alphard G version warna hitam rim color emas”

“tapi kan die keje kat bendang je”

“tu ah, hari tu aku dengar ade orang kampong yang rumah kne pecah”

“aku rase die la kot”

Did you grab the situation? Their mouth makes twitter looks like pussy. And it kind of astounds me about their acquaintance on cars, I didn’t even know how many kind of Alphard there are and she can even specifically talk about one. But their information reliability was also a lil bit out of the box. How can she relate the house breaking incident with a new alphard, what if that person is in pure providence and hit the lottery?

KL (Kandang Lembu) Boys

"sekadar gambar hiasan"

I wasn’t really lice in a city. So I know how to live a normal life and not bragging too much. But these guy, I didn’t know what is in their head. You live in kampong, so be like one. No matter how “city” your garb is, it won’t make any difference.

Since that I was a lil retard in nature, I do have the face to ask them about the attire;

“mat, apsal pakai camni?”

“fashion bro, aku beli kat butik ni”

“tapi tak pelik ke pakai cap kecik, seluar cikang, n shades p diddy?”

“mne ade, ko tau ape, pakai baju melayu lagi”

*for god’s sake, im the braidsmaid u donkey arse

See their problem? They aren’t just bigheaded but also stoopeid. It is not because they live in kampong, but because they are ignorance. How can a person wear a jacket in a 30⁰C weather? And you actually sweat like hell in this midday with sun on your forehead?

80s, 90s and Old Song

"even then they look old"

If it was 20 fookein years ago, then it might be ok la. But it is 2011 weyh, another year it might be Armageddon (according to Jay Sean in his song).

I might be ignorance in this fact, but I do not really understand how they actually love this kindda song. 70% of the people who are presence in the wedding ceremonial can be considered as youth. And they don’t really actually have the gut to revolutionize the “song”. And the karaoke guy, he actually uses 14 inch screen tv to play the song, and I lulzed to see the not-so-cool-soon-to-meet-grave pakcik trying hard looking into the screen and sing, what a twinge in the butt.

"imagine him singing~"

Plus 200% hatred and rage when a skinny B.A.Baracus started to scream his epiglottis out. Even my brother raged;

“bodoh la mamat tu”

“apesal?”

“dah la suara tak sedap, pastu pasang kuat-kuat bangang punya budak”

“Pegi la tego”

“dah, die buat bodo sambil buat gaya rempit”

If it is my wedding, I would put a DJ on the centre of the crowd and spin some ass of mine. If it was a clubmix, nobody would care if the music was loud right? lulz

"im the groom, im the dj yaw!"

Igorance Mother

"hehe"

In wedding ceremony, it is one of the most infuriating things I have to encounter. Not because they are not cute, but sometimes they are soooooo annoying. But if Michael Jackson was still around he might be the happiest person lulz.

*talking with my friend

*a 2 years old kid grabbing an ice cream from my mouth

De Eff?? Who is this kid? And he is too cute and adorable for me to be nutty at him (that’s why I hate cute creatures sometimes, you just can’t be mad at em) and then suddenly a mother came and apologizes. Few minutes later, another kids running and dropped his ayam panggang  on my pants.FFFUUUU and again another ignorance mother came and apologize.

"what if the child is taking bong beyatch?!"

I still remember when I was still a kid,  I was only allowed to go to a wedding ceremony or any kenduri when I can appropriately behave and conduct myself. Otherwise it is a no no for me. There is this once, when I was back from a wedding ceremony, my parents were in a complete rage when they hit me because I was being mischievous during  kenduri. But who can blame a 5 years old kid doing some havoc rite?

Well my rage ends here. And I wanted to close the curtain and take a bow.

Thanks for my friend that came to my cousin’s wedding. I know it was really far, and you guys have to drive 3 hours to come here. XD

p/s:-

bodoh la babad, lab tak siap2 lagi

Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa - The Malay Bloodlines Chronicles

"what a cool poster eh"

Well, this film was unquestionably breath winning. Obviously I wasn’t expecting the movie to be like 300 rights? But it wasn’t so ghastly nevertheless; no great deal of discontent was sensed for the whole movie.

I was not flat sporadic as I watch the movies and it was utterly awe for me. But a few suggestion and comment would not hurt right;

Mystery elements

"an epic ghost story teller"

The preface was satisfactory, but I was expecting him to use Zainal Ariffin Ismail to be the narrator basis he has the mysterious type of voice that will quiver your bone right? A little bit element of eccentricity would be perfect to the introduction.

Stoopeid Scene

All movies got their weaknesses, but what is the most important thing is not to make it too fookin obvious rite? At least make it a little more correlated to the film.

And there is this one scene that I was sooooo disappointed,

“turun turun die dah mati”

“turun cepat”

*creek

KEBABOOM

*everyone smash to smithereens and died except Merong(of course)

See the quandary and predicament? A tower plunges and abruptly everybody died! De Efff!! it wasn’t even in the vicinity of logical. Ok, I know that they added the mystical elements to the story about witch crafting and those kick-ass-fat shaman (which was cool), but that scene, hmm.. it is still a no no to me..

"his hair looked like yeti in Kak Limah Ghost's Goes Home"

Fakkap Fighting Scene

"burnein HOT!!"

The fighting scene was splendid and remarkable, but it would be enhanced if it wasn’t fast forwarded. It is ok for me as the whole thing was totally understandable for a dim witted mind as I am, but imagine a thick-skulled-kampong-nelayan-guy (ur an ass for talking too much beside me) watched the movies, and fighting scene is the only thing that they enjoy, for sure they didn’t know how the story goes eh?

“bunuh!!”

*slash~

“bluerk!”

“ARGH!!”

*everyone tumbang

WADEHELL?? How did he do that? Few slash and everyone down already? After the movies I saw the guy again and he was saying;

“cerita tu buat aku nak parang orang hidup-hidup”

See there? That’s why I called him an ass.

Wrong Actor

"did someone blinked? lulz"

Ok, this is kindda funneh. I am trying to ponder my mind and then there is this one single scene where the army from the Roman Empire and The Great China Empire came to rescue.

*A whole line up of soldier is ready to attack,

*the camera moved from right side of the army

*then to the left

*it moves slowly

*focusing on every faces

“weyh! Tu bukan cine ke??”

WTFULALA, sengal gak minah (aflyn) ni pegi jerit, (saje2 nganjeng). But what she was saying is the exactness. A line of Amolang and then suddenly, a sepet guy was in the front line. TROLOL, what happened to KRU production? 

If they want some Mat Salleh guy, they can just find it in cyberheight, it wasn’t even far from their office what. Cyberheights have lots of pak araib that are bajet mamat uk which will be more useful than being a drunk ass and Gadoh Baling Speaker.

So I wanna end my review on the movies, it was awesome movies and my munneh was worth it.

p/s:-

Thanks ah kawan-kawan sebab ajak aku..^^

REJAM!!

Disebabkan hari ni aku rage panas tahap gaban. Maka aku nak lepas kat kau ah. Sape suroh ko jadi blog aku. Padan muka hang. So hari ni aku nak try rage dalam mother tongue, tak2, more like bapak tongue sebab bapak ayu melayu.

Since that korang semua pena dok dalam satu komuniti dan hidup bermasyarakat, mesti ade golongan yang korang benci tahap gaban kan? Kan? Ade la wei! Sampai ko rase nak lempang je muke die dengan kasut korang yang saiz 12 tu!

So hari ni aku nak tulis pasal housemate member Lucifer yang patot join nurakha jahanam.

HOUSE HOTEL

"mesti kau harap scene camni tiap2 pagi kan?"

Ok, mamat ni kekadang anggap rumah ni macam hotel dan die expect yang banyak benda kat rumah ni adalah hak beliau. Keluar rumah awal, then balik pun untuk mandi or tido je. N mase orang semua kemas2 rumah, kau buat muke taik and cakap yang kau x buat kotor rumah then kenapa nak kemas. Bodo, lain kali belaja ah sains, ko tau tak bulu kau yang panjang tu je dah contribute 20% sampah and kau shed skin every second tu dah bagi lagi 60% habuk kat umah ni n u say that its not ur not responsible? Kamon la wei, consider la ngok.

Pastu bile bil elektrik kene potong kau bising cakap kitorang x pegi bayar, dah kalau tiap kali nak mintak ngan kau pun kena tegang muka pastu kena soal cam puleis mintak duit kat jaga cyberheight tiap minggu, memang takde orang sakit hati (sarcasm). *facepalm.

"gambar hiasan menghanjeng"

Tapi bile kau balik rumah nak tido n takde elektrik, aku gelak sorang2 sebab aku ske tengok kau rage, tido peluh2 and takde orang nak layan kau! PADAN MUKE KAU KEL! PWNED!

"HOOHO HO HO PWNED!!!"

LINTAH INTERNET

"i hope you die like this?"haha"

Ni lagi satu golongan fakkap yang memang sangat2 buat aku sakit hati. Semua orang bayar untuk internet, tapi apsal kau rase cam kau sorang je bayar pastu leeching macam haram kat torrent tu sampai nak bogel. Ok, fyi, golongan ni download x hengat dunia, bayangkan movie yang die nak download tu samapai 8 GB, and die download 12 cite camtu, you do the calculation and see? 96 GB hanya untuk movie. Wwadefak man??

Nak lagi sakit hati? Masa die kat rumah die off torrent die. So internet agak biase. Tapi bile die kuar jke dari rumah, die on torrent and download macam sial. Bayangkan heart block 3^rd degree. Nak mati tau tak? Bukak video Micheal Buble Sway pun amik mase dekat 1 jam, pungkok ape bhai. Mentang-mentang hang takdak kat umah hang ingat orang lain takdak gak ka? Kalau camtu baik hang bayar internet sorang and beli berukband, takdak hang susahkan hidop orang sangat.

So ape yang member aku pegi buat, die pegi kat laptop lu, cabut battery and wayar power! Triple Thumbs up. habis download and laptop hang!lulz

"epic face"

KUTU MALAS

"lazy ass pig"

Ok, yang ni confirm-confirm ah ade kat mane-mane gak betoi tak? Tapi rumah aku ni bukan ade duty rooster sangat pun. Just nak buang sampah je. Tak susah pun, kau ikat  pastu buang ah, then kalau tong sampah tu kotor, kau bawak pegi depan paip tembak laju-laju, keringkan then bawak ah naik. Tapi mamat ni memang perangai sial sangat and situasi die macam ni di hening pagi bute yang aman :

“ P***y, today its your turn to throw the rubbish”

Die pegi tengok kat tempat sampah pastu patah balik

“you tie the rubbish properly, throw them properly, then I will throw em away”

Defak???ni turn kau kowt~ kepala ape orang lain yang kene buat keje kau? Pastu ko ingat tong sampah tu bersih macam katil kau ke? Bodo ape, g blaja pharmacy tapi taktau pasal life, baik ko pegi dok ngan indon je. Tapi kau nasib baik, sebab aku taknak rage pagi2 and create unwanted trouble. So aku pegi masukkan sampah-sampah yang terabur. Then aku nampak, yang banyak ni smapah kau gak! Susu kau basi pastu kepam dalam peti sejuk, bile orang Tanya tui sape punya lu bikin onar cakap taktau, bodo gile, bapak obvious time ko letak tu aku ade kot, PWNED again!

"i always make this face, and it never bores me"

MAT KEPAM

"Aku harap kau jadi pharmacist yang camni~lulz"

Sheyat, ni paling keji antara semua. Manusia cipta deodorant tu ade sebab, bukan nak biaq badan hang tu kepam cam perkasam. Lagi satu, asyik2 dok dalam bilik pastu tiap kali nak masuk lu cakap “close the door please” pastu lu tutop sume tingkap and langsir kat dalam bilik. Sumpah lu blaja science again tak bro? aku pun taktau camne hang bleh dapat lepas STPM tu. Maybe hang depends on the “dagger” la kot.

Lagi kesain, ade roommate aku ni, Manul, sampai tak tahan bau, die pegi beli sleeping bag and tido kat beranda.

“apsal beli sleeping bag?”

“tak tahan ah bad”

“apsal?”

“kepam”

“nasib baik aku flu”

See, tak kesian ke kat member ni? Die sampai beli sleeping bag bagai. So ape aku buat, aku amik sume baju2 aku, aku letak kat atas lantai, biar kau tak boleh nak jalan pun, and tiap pastu aku gantung baju-baju basah main badminton kat dalam bilik and tengok muke kau kerut-kerut time tido petang tahan bau masam! HAAHA HA HA

"see? i never get bored"

p/s:-

sorry again, hari ni xleh nak concentrate sangat and rase since that you are my blog so get used to it ok? btw, my rage disappear in many ways, n bloggin is one of em..^^